Canada

The headline kinda buries the lede. From the article, "(the) gynecologist told her the choice should be up to her future husband".

A discussion about potential regrets is a lot more benign than denying her autonomy.

Here's the flipside of this kind of story.

My wife went in to have her IUD replaced a few years ago and the then-new doctor asked her, confusingly, why she needed one as she had her tubes tied.

Which came as a surprise to her.

As it turns out, after her second child from her first marriage, her then-husband instructed her doctor at the time to have her tubes tied when she was recovering from delivery. Not that she wanted any more kids with him, because he's thoroughly unpleasant, but holy smokes that there's doctors who seem to believe in the "wimmin are the husband's property!" is horrifying.

I dated a woman who was trying to get her tubes tied in her 20s. Multiple doctors outright refused on the grounds that she couldn’t know what her future husband would want. She finally found one who did the procedure, but only after a meeting with ME wherein I had to promise both that I didn’t want kids, and that I would marry her.

There was much talk of a hypothetical future man and how unfair it would be for him. And then how unfair THAT would be for HER because this hypothetical man would want nothing to do with her if she couldn’t have his children. Less than no regard for the HUMAN WHO’S BODY IS ACTUALLY AFFECTED. I’m still pissed about it.

If you’re seeking sterilization and doctors are being a fuck, get any guy friend to come in with you and just say you’re engaged. It’s so much easier to just lie. NO ONE should lose their bodily autonomy for the sake of a fucking imaginary future husband.

I asked to be sterilized in my twenties. I have never wanted children, and never was even asked to baby sit when I was a teen because of how awkward I was around babies and small children. I was denied because apparently decades in my own head wasn't enough, I needed to be married first. (wtf I can't even tolerate sex how am I going to get married lol)

In my thirties I tried again, but this time asked to have all of my reproductive organs removed because they cause me so much pain. I got denied because I came out as trans before that 🙃 The (American) VA can't do any surgeries if there's even a tiny hint that it might be gender affirming for trans and enby folks.

When I got my vasectomy, my urologist didn't ask me anything about my wife's feelings on the subject. Because it's my body. My urologist made sure I was informed on the risks, including that it may be irreversible, and the historical odds of being able to restore fertility.

I was young. Every time I came into contact with a nurse who found out I was getting a vasectomy, they started to ask me inappropriate questions. My urologist apparently knew to expect this, because he was always on top of them before they were even able to finish, telling them that it was "more common these days for young people to want to be sterilized," and defending my autonomy without me even having to say a word. I felt very supported and I appreciated this a great deal. I would have appreciated even more if I had the same support from the nurses.

Incidentally, get a vasectomy. No, seriously, get one. If you don't have vas deferens, encourage someone you know to get a vasectomy. It's the best.

Edit: This was in southwestern Ontario

Male doctors make detrimental decisions for women every single day based on their opinions. I've been dealing with it for 40 years, and the result is that I'm now suffering the ill effects - as are thousands of others. It has to stop. I hope this being suddenly newsworthy brings change.