this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Autism

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I strongly identify with this meme 😛. Thought others here might as well. There’s this “paradox” of much preferring solitude much of the time while knowing you need other people in your corner in life.

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[–] CookieJarObserver 20 points 1 year ago

Are you actually alone?

No! There are thousands of bacteria living on every centimeter of your surface area!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

It's 'funny' because I want to interact with people, but interacting as myself means I feel drained. It's a vicious cycle.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I want to be alone, but not by myself

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have a wife and two kids and work full time managing people.

I have not felt lonely in nearly two decades, and would relish the opportunity. Any moment alone now is a brief reprieve with the knowledge it will end soon. I love my family and my job, but I miss being single and able to avoid interacting with people for a week or so at a time (outside of work).

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're an adult. If you have the resources, and are able to maturely communicate your needs, you might as well look for a way to do it.

I know of a couple of autistic people happily married for over 10 years who, from time to time, leave the house entirely alone for either of them for almost a whole day.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’d agree with this! I’m actually going through a divorce right now. There are a lot of reasons for it, but several of them have to do with me masking too much in one way or another around my wife and eventually not being able to do that anymore. Needing a lot more time to myself than I was getting was one of those things. I’ve really enjoyed the fact that I’m getting that alone-time now. Ultimately, for a variety of reasons, I’m glad the marriage is ending, but I really do wish I had been honest with her about my needs much sooner.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm not autistic but stumbled on this post. I don't exactly see myself as an introvert but I require more time to myself than most people to feel whole. I got divorced after 15 years and my now partner of three years has learned to respect my need for alone time. We spend 3 days together on average and I really like the balance.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That’s encouraging to hear! I would eventually like to try for a stable relationship again, and I hope I can find someone who is OK with less “together time” than is typical. Congrats that you have!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I'd much rather be alone and not have to think of how to act and speak but also I realize that I have a limited time where I will be living with my family and having them at that short of access. I'd like to say I've found a happy medium but I mostly like to hide in my room.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Sonichu's Paradox states that a being cannot simultaneously touch grass and enjoy it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I love it slightly more than I hate it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

@sature This thread was validating to read.