this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 130 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Next time you pass, throw a packet of yeast in there.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Could even mix the yeast into a bottle of sugar syrup beforehand to give the juice a boost of yeast food. And less suspicious when dumping it.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago

I have no idea what you're talking about, that's my homemade kombucha. I was going to try it for the first time on the flight, but I guess that's not happening now.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Or get foamy and smell like bread, as the case may be.

[–] Imgonnatrythis 15 points 2 months ago

Or a mentos!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What do you mean? It's probably too acidic to have any big reactions with yeast, no?

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Never fails to amuse me that in order to fight to “threat” of binary explosives i.e. two liquids that explode when mixed together…

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (2 children)

by definition this occurs before security, so anybody that wanted to could just bring a regular explosive

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Aren't the dogs trained to sniff out regular explosives?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Generally speaking, police dogs are trained to alert on command and are not used for actual investigation.

Yes, SAR dogs exist and properly trained dogs exist as well. However, the overwhelming evidence shows dogs are not a reliable tool when used by police.

Welcome to the downfall of an empire.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

Cop: say woof.

Dog: what, right now?

Cop: yeah.

Dog: but I don't smell anything...

Cop: I'll give you a treat.

Dog: woof woof woof!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Most of the airports in the US have some sort or chemical detector too. I always get my hands swapped going through PDX because I brought so scary looking circuit boards with my carryon 5 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What do they swap them with?

Are they shipped separately?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It’s been a few years, but they are white round pads, probably 3 inches wide. I’m not sure what’s on the pad, probably a solvent of some kind.

The pads go in a machine about the size of an larger microwave oven which I believe uses NMR to scan for nitrates and other kinds of explosive residue.

It was a pair of highschool level sumo robots, lots of wires and motors and gears.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In case you haven't realised, the correct word is swab/swabbed. You are being made fun of for swapping the correct word for a different word.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I prefer my explosives non-binary, thank you very much.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

That’s actually way more common than the government wants you to believe;-)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not a big enough target for terrorists.
Imagine having planned the next 9/11 but then instead you have to just blow up part of an airport instead 😒

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Liquids may be dangerous, so let's mix them all together!

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh darn guess I'll have to pour my separate bottles of bleach and ammonia in there since they're not allowed past security checkpoint.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Thinking the same thing. Oh shoot! I need to pour my bromine out! Proceeds to dump 1 gallon of fuming bromine into liquid receptacle.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Instructions unclear, unzips...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

When in Rome, use the Roman urinal?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Look, I've been in this air terminal for the past three days, no thanks to CrowdStrike...

I dunno where else to empty my [redacted] collection bottle, but I had to entertain myself somehow..

/s

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Boston Airport won't even sell you a beer before 11. Damn puritan masshole laws

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Calgary has a liquor store in the domestic terminal after security. Not a duty free, a liquor store. Just in case you want a 5th during take off.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

That's pure evil

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago

Okay. unzip

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

But, if they're explosive, wouldn't emptying your explosive with a soup of everyone else's explosives, be a bad idea? Unless.... is all this "security theater" just for show??

E: grammar

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

The point isn't that liquids are explosive, the point is that water messes up the explosives detection. It's "liquids are not allowed, because water is a false positive for explosives and we want to avoid the false positive".

That's why it's starting to get allowed in many airports - they updated their detectors to newer technology where water is no longer a false positive.

Nobody thinks your bottle of water is a bomb.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

That makes sense and would almost reassure me if they didn't have a 95% failure rate in tests. The data is super old but I can't find anything to suggest it's improved since then.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you heard of bartender's mat?

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I bet that smells just like my Mom's pussy.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When you smelled it last night did it remind you of that?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Oh I haven't been to Boston since last Tuesday.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Nephew, delete this

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

All liquids you say?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

When the terrorists empty their liquid explosives into there, you’ll get to smell like piss while the flesh burns off of your bones.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Ultimate King Cup

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I guess they finally got tired of cleaning up the mess people left behind when they had to throw away their drinks.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

no it's so they can save it all for the christmas party

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’m imagining them having to change out the bag or.. I guess bag-less bin…?

Unless this goes into a drain which is… equally super weird, actually, because it isn’t sink-shaped or anything.. so now I’m imagining this super tall trash can with like a weak little drain at the bottom full of straws and bottle caps and stuff.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I am actually a janitor at an airport and these have little hoses on the back that we just put into the drain in the janitor closet. They smell like rotten eggs and midew at the same time and are the single most disgusting thing I have ever had to clean.

Most of them have either a grate on top to prevent trash getting in or a separate chamber on the inside that filters out solids.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

That’s so much worse than I imagined, I’m so sorry. Nobody should have to deal with that for security theater.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for your service. Right now I feel the same feeling when someone says “ew this milk smells, smell it”

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are swamp water and jungle juice the same thing?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I think swamp water is soda only.

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