Ask Autistic People

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A community for anyone to ask autistic people questions: non-autistic people to learn about the autistic experience and autistic people to get information or validation from their peers.

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What is love? (lemmy.autism.place)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Cross-posting here from lemmy.world because I'm autistic and this might be an autistic thing. It think it would be helpful to hear how other autistic people make sense of this since we seem to think alike. Also, does any here have this same issue with being confused by the term?

inb4 "Baby, don't hurt me."

But for real...what do people mean when they say "I love you," or "Do you love them?" I'm really confused by this because love seems to have such a varying definition. People say love for all sorts of things, and it seems like everyone else understands which definition they're using in the moment. Here are some examples in which each one has a different meaning:

I love pancakes.

I love my mother.

I love my romantic partner.

I love my best friend.

I love my career.

I love going to the beach.

My dog loves me.

That couple is in love.

Where is the love?

Background: I recently saw an episode of a show (spoiler below) where there was an adolescent heterosexual couple. The girl had a female best friend that she kissed, and is now confused about what she wants. She told her boyfriend about it. The boyfriend then asked her, "Do you love her?" What is he asking? If love means attachment and care, then clearly she does because that's her best friend. However, since that is so clear, he's not asking that. What is he asking??

Another specification is when people ask "Do you love them, or are you in love with them?"

I am confused by this term and the whole concept in general. I think I could really use some clarification, examples, or how to know which definition someone is going with when they use it.

Name of show
The show is Atypical on Netflix.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Love is valuing something so much you are made helpless in its presence. It’s the breaking of the boundary between self interest and the interest of that thing, resulting in a loss of self control.

One who loves their mother would rush toward her without thinking if she were in danger.

One who loves pancakes actually loves eating pancakes and that is the thing they are helpless but to serve when they encounter it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I told a psychologist that I wasn't sure that I understood what love was. He asked, "Would you be sad if she was gone?" I said, "Yes." He said, "That's love."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'd also be sad if my air conditioner was gone. Does that mean I love my air conditioner?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yes.

Weirdo.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Weirdo.

Looks at the community we're in. My preferred term is autie. 🤪