A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
“The cost for the ransom is $500,000. Your total ransom amount will be calculated on the next page. Would you like to upgrade to a special souvenir, limited-edition ransom for an extra $40 million?” the note read.
The group also offered Ticketmaster the opportunity to upgrade their ransom to ‘Refundable’ for just an extra $12 million, which would allow the company to request a refund and then have it later denied.
Bwahahahaha. Get fucked Ticketmaster.
log in to get in the queue...
Your place is 12,432
If this story was real, I’d root for the hacker
I think they were actually hacked weren't they?
I don’t know. This particular story is made up, though.
Yes, they were actually hacked. The ransom mentioned here is fake.
SORRY!! SOLD OUT!!
Tomorrow the resale price is $1.4 Million....
Hahahah
the onion
😢
I'm 100% not okay with stealing and ransoming people's personal information, but this makes me want to be 99% not okay with it.
I am 100% ok with ransoming companies with poor security.
We balance each other out. I’ll never feel sorry for a corporation and ticket master are one of the worst.
it's not the company that suffers though, everyone already has their personal data ...
That’s inevitable at this point anyway. If you’re that concerned then change what you can every time there is a breach.
your comment implies we already aren't doing that.
do not project your apathy toward your own privacy onto the rest of us.
I change all the time.
I am apathetic towards a lot of things, but my privacy isn’t one.
You know this affected a bunch of individual humans, many of whom skipped meals and other things, to buy an overpriced ticket for a moment of brightness in a life of drudgery?
Fuck hospitals and end users then? The party losing the most here is certainly not ticketmaster
Yeah the hackers can get fucked. But Ticketmaster can go get fucked more.
ransom handling fee hahah how nice would it be were it true
Damn. I was really hoping this was real.
There's maybe three companies that I have no sympathy for in a case like this. Ticketmaster is one of them.
Edit: OMG I sincerely ate the onion.
There was a real hack. The onion is just making a joke about it.
Have sympathy for the people who had their data stolen
As much as I dislike Ticketmaster and their practices, these data breaches affect real people for the rest of their lives.
Not a good situation and Ticketmaster needs to be held 100% accountable.
Best you can realistically hope for is a check for $7.31 and free credit reports for a year till it happens again.
Or the ranmsomers get enough money to make it no longer a viable business model...
Want to screw customers with hidden fees? Hackers will screw Ticketmaster with hidden ransoms
Some one needs to send the guy that did the hack this article.
c\whooosh
Fully aware of the sub I’m in, this did still happen though and I was referring to the comments
Woooosh yourself lol
Thanks for my daily giggle, op! Apples cost more than a laugh, both are good medicine.