The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I wish I had the patience to go and post this in reply to every tankie I've seen today defending the "honour" of this piece of shit in the name of Iranians who they've convinced themselves they can speak for (yet somehow never speak up for their best interests, only in defence of their "great leaders" interests, curious.. ๐ค๐).
Yeah, western tankies especially can be very weird. Meanwhile, the actual communist party of Iran has nothing good to say about him.
Quote:
The only regret of the people of Iran and the families of the survivors of the horrific crimes committed by the mercenaries of reaction and tyranny, over the death of Ebrahim Raisi, is that the opportunity for his historic trial in the not-too-distant future has been lost.
western tankies especially can be very weird
Right, and they call anyone who disagrees with them, even actual communists, "McCarthyists" ๐คฆโโ๏ธ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
Seriously though, anyone who sees any reason whatsoever for communists to support the Iranian government mustn't have a single fucking clue what communism is about.. They're a fucking joke (if only they didn't go around giving leftists such a bad name)..
That's a fantastic, and not at all surprising piece of information though, thanks for sharing!
What's a tankie? I keep seeing that term on Lemmy and nowhere else. I feel like I should know it by now.
Tankies are people who claim to be communists, but who exclusively support authoritarians and their oppressive regimes, past and present, because these authoritarians call themselves communists (think believing Nazis were socialists because it was in their party name), even though their actions have nothing at all to do with communism, and fascists co-opting leftist language to gain power being a well documented phenomenon.
It's pretty easy to tell really: if a project is/was stateless, classless, and moneyless - congratulations, it's almost certainly communism, and those who support it are communists (or possibly one of several varieties of anarchist, like myself).
However if one or any of those conditions aren't met, and/or there is a single dictator or a small group of cronies holding on to power claiming they've been met, but the reality is clearly different - congratulations, you basically have run of the mill fascism on your hands and those who support it are tankies (who, as I pointed out in OP, almost always speak up and in defence of a "dear leader" but never in defence of the people themselves, because all they care about is the regime, not the people living under it).
In the case of the fediverse, there are a couple of dedicated instances almost exclusively occupied by tankies, who have made it their goal to essentially troll and brigade anyone who doesn't agree with their, frankly bizarre, views (calling it "dialectics" to make themselves feel better). They're generally easy to avoid though, by blocking individuals, or their entire instance.
Thanks for the in-depth explanation.
No problem, glad I could help.
Just to add, pelespirit is more or less right about the origin of the word, you can read more on the wiki
Let he who is without sin throw the first helicopter.
Fucking legendary.
I've found a lot of Onion headlines pretty mid and uninspired recently, but this one is aces. No notes.
They've been going pretty hard lately, it's great
Threw the whole fucking planet at him, he musta done something to deserve it! :P
I saw the crash site in an aerial photograph and it looks like a big scorch mark. As if the devil reached a burning hand up out of the ground to personally invite them all down to their final destination.
Really, no links?
Some background/ other info
https://www.npr.org/2024/05/20/1252418856/iran-interim-president-mohammad-mokhber
Actually, Iranian courts put a moratorium on stoning to death over 20 years ago, and the practice is still legal in American-allied Saudi Arabia.
Yes indeed, what about the US.
And the blinding, amputations and hanging?
Fairly positive they're also legal in Saudi Arabia
Fkn lol
And if so much as a beast touch the mountain, it shall be stoned
๐ง
Will the zealots and their goons consider this a message from Allah, that their ways might be wrong?
Nah!
When Muhammad didn't go to the mountain...
Wait, weed is legal in Iran? Also I thought the lethal dose was too high for human consumption. A new record for us stoners I guess.
F
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