this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 144 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Do what you must, I have already won.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

You don't have the guts to do what you must human, accept your fate

[–] DestroyerOfWorlds 87 points 3 months ago

I mean, you put a bib on him. He's a hungy lil baby

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh, I have a similar story from my (unfortunately late) void:

Had a big chunk of pork, which I trimmed for the BBQ. All the cuttings (mostly fat) I put in a pad to render (?) the delicious lard. Somehow I forgot to put a lid on the pan while it cooled down, and the whole thing got forgotten in the mess the kitchen was after a nice Barbie and beers with friends. Next morning I woke up, thought "oh crap, the lard". Went downstairs, first susicious thing: cat nowhere to be seen. Pan on the stove was completely clean. As in straight from the dishwasher clean. The I saw the cat lolling around on the sofa, barely awake, and almost unresponsive. Even shaking his morning treats did not prompt him to come into the kitchen (which usually was the ritual). And then it dawned on me: the little rascal slurped about a whole pound of pork lard during the night from the pan. Did not eat for two days straight, but seemed happy as a clam.

Wherever he is now, I hope he gets all the lard he wants.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Nice carpet you've got there... be a shame if someone... barfed eggs all over it

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Why would eggs make the cat close his eyes?

[–] [email protected] 155 points 3 months ago

He’s full and sleepy now

[–] [email protected] 81 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Food nirvana

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

Cats give slow blinks and closed eye looks to indicate love and trust. Or when they know they've done something wrong and are trying to get away with it in my experience. So he could be thanking his owner for a delicious meal that he knew wasn't for him.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

He's allergic

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

It won't even look them in eyes, the little bastard

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm trying to imagine why the scrambled eggs were still in the pan. I wanna eat my eggs while they're warm. What happened here?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes nature calls at inopportune times

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

you made extra and left it in the pan for later

when i cook bacon i do the whole back and only eat a few slices and save the rest.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yea but do you leave it in the pan? As soon as my bacon is done it goes on a plate covered in paper towels to soak up excess grease and after I’m done eating the meal whatever bacon might be left goes in the fridge. I normally only cook enough to eat for that meal though not a whole pack at once

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How does it feel to be a functioning adult?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Painful, depressing, some other negative adjectives normally apply

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

That's gonna smell tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Don't give it yellow part. It causes hair loss.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Time... for a... victory.... nap.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

even now, the evil seed of what he's done GERMINATES within him

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Face a purr bliss