this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
1235 points (99.3% liked)

Programmer Humor

19623 readers
31 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 194 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Half of those meetings are business MBAs asking "Why isn't more getting done on this project?"

[–] [email protected] 95 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The other half are about useful things, like what to do next, how your interfaces will look like, and "if you need help, just tell me, I can escalate it".

[–] gravitas_deficiency 18 points 6 months ago

Oh, and how to prepare for the meeting on staging the discussion for the rollout of the plan for the new strategic initiative (first iteration)

I’m not exaggerating by that much, tbh.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (1 children)

As opposed to non-business MNBAs of course

[–] brbposting 8 points 6 months ago

Major in Not Business Administration? :D

Also:

MNBA may refer to:

  • 2-Methyl-6-nitrobenzoic anhydride, a condensing agent used in chemistry laboratories

  • Mongolian National Basketball Association

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 188 points 6 months ago (4 children)

The job is defending people who get work done from people who don’t get work done.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago

LOL. So true.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

This is the perfect description.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Ex test lead, this 100%.

My job was to organise the work between the workers, keep the business away from my subordinates, and only waste their time when they had the complete information being asked for the specific reason.

And if I wasn't doing one of the things above, my job was to pick up the horrible things that no one else wanted/I had experience and domain knowledge in (eg : accessibility testing)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 124 points 6 months ago (7 children)

0900 till 0930 - 15 min standup meeting.
0930 till 1000 - focus time.
1000 till 1100 - Pre meeting for customer meeting at 1100.
1100 till 1200 - Customer meeting.
1230 till 1300 - Post Meeting catchup.
1300 till 1330 - focus time.
1330 till 1430 - JIRA board update meeting.
1430 till 1500 - priorities review meeting.
1500 till 1645 - focus time.
1645 till 1730 - EOD standup.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 6 months ago (2 children)

"Are you don't yet? Why aren't you done yet? Help me update infinite plans that will be outdated in a week. Also, I just promised a bunch of stuff... all that stuff we already promised, I think you can do that faster."

When I was a dev, I once had a PM with no technical skills that decided he would "learn to program to help catch us up"... He did not succeed.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Hey, at least he had the right idea. He saw that the delay was due to a lack of skilled workers and tried to fix that problem instead of just talking more about the project. That's more awareness than most PMs have in my experience.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago

If a PM has enough time to try to learn programming on the side, then they are a shit PM. A PM should shield the team from unneccessary meetings, be the main initial contact point and the initial refinement guy. Those are 4 seperate jobs at once.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (3 children)

PMs act that way because people above them ask for updates regularly. Bad PMs don't know how to push back. If you need things done faster, the answer is usually "we need more resources".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

If you need things done faster, the answer is usually "we need more resources".

Like having 9 women to make a baby in a month?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"we need more resources" is bounded by the rate at which you can incorporate new teams members without absolutely destroying your productivity, or having a bunch of untrained fools running around breaking things (of course the later is standard at many places already, so I guess it doesn't always matter).

The right answer is usually : "No". Or at least "Prioritize". Or "This is what we need to get it done" at which point they might start to get software takes time to make decently, and they don't want software that doesn't work decently in the first place.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 55 points 6 months ago (6 children)

You get focus time?

Also, what the hell is the point in an EOD standup if you're gonna have another one in zero working minutes?

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

That concept is lost on so many people and I don't understand why. One of the last teams I was on had two weekly meetings. One was 9:00 AM Monday morning and the other was 4:00 PM on Fridays. They were both running through all of our projects and always seemed surprised that the Monday update was the same as the previous Friday update.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It is to their advantage to ~~be~~ act surprised, therefore they are "surprised", see? This was your "opportunity" to show how dedicated you are the company, having worked all weekend long...

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

It isn't particularly hard to call this out. Just say "I haven't done anything since Friday." And leave it at that.

Be comfortable with silence.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

You get focus time?

They need to give you some time to answer emails from management 🙄

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Focus time" is the name of the meeting.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Because even if you’re not working, you’ll probably think about problems overnight

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

So what's the point of the EOD one?

I honestly see zero benefit in it unless it's a 24h operation with a shift handover.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

Sitting in a meeting right now....

This is such a an accurate comment.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (2 children)

We do standups twice a week. At worst they run a half hour for my team of about 10 people. Usually we're done in 15-20 minutes. Please tell me it's just an absolutely made up joke that you have an hour and 15 minutes of stand up meetings every day. I would shoot myself.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I had a job that had > 1hr standups for our two man project because we met with QA, BA, and management and they wanted everything changed every day so we had to explain why we couldn't do anything with constantly changing requirements every morning.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CaptDust 14 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Does a lot happen between an EOD standup, and the morning standup? Pick a lane lol

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well yea, plenty happens between 1700 and 0900. That is why the 15 min standup takes 30 min.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

You are fortunate that it takes "only" 30 minutes.

img

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 92 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

No, this is incompetent management.

Senior engineers write enabling code/scaffolding, and review code, and mentor juniors. They also write feature code.

Lead engineers code and lead dev teams.

Principal engineers code, and talk about tech in meetings.

Senior Principal engineers, and distinguished technologists/fellows talk about tech, and maybe sometimes code.

Good managers go to meetings and shield the engineers from the stream of exec corporate bs. Infrequently they may rope any of the engineers in this chain in to explain the decisions that the engineers make along the way.

Bad managers bring engineers in to these meetings frequently.

Terrible managers make the engineering decisions and push those to the engineers.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

TIL my company has only bad managers.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

Good managers go to meetings and shield the engineers from the stream of exec corporate bs

Was lucky enough to work with one... once.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There is a reason I keep refusing to take the "Lead" position. I know what I'm good at.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

bruh, your company has money for all those layers in your lasagna?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I came here to say the same.

People in the technical career track spend most of their time making software, one way or another (there comes a point were you're doing more preparation to code than actual coding).

As soon as you jump into the management career track it's mostly meetings to report the team's progress to upper management, even if you're supposedly "technically oriented".

Absolutelly, as you become a more senior tech things become more and more about figuring out what needs to be done at higher and higher levels (i.e. systems design, software development process design) which results in needing to interact with more and more stakeholders (your whole team, other teams, end users, management) hence more meetings, but you still get to do lots of coding or at least code-adjacent stuff (i.e. design).

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Do you have excess creative energy?

Pour it into discussion that achieves nothing of value.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

Have you considered writing your own projects that you have to hide from your employers, and be careful with whom you discuss, so as to avoid the legal complications of the company owning your work?

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (12 children)

Yes, that's generally the job of a senior engineer.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Agreed. Use your experience to shape the direction your teammates are moving in. Be an architect, and let them handle your light work.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

It depends VERY much about the content and invitees of the meetings.

If you're there to give your expert engineering feedback, awesome. If you're there to receive the information you need in order to provide expert engineering feedback, awesome.

So often, I find, meetings are too broad and end up oversubscribed. Engineers are in a 2 hour meeting with 10 minutes of relevance.

There are serious differences in meeting culture, with vast implications oh the amount of efficacy you can juice from the attendees.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Ehhhh, depends on how your titles work, and I would argue that's at least a little odd. Most senior engineers I know are ~50/50 code/oversight, at worst. Once you get to Principal or Staff, though, you're lucky if you write 50 loc/week.

Senior rarely translates to something like architect anymore, it's at least a level or two up from there.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The beauty of titles like this is that they're absolutely meaningless.

You can't compare them between companies, sometimes even departments, you can't compare them between different industries, and you can't compare them between countries.

I'm a senior, and my job is currently to sit in meetings most of the day to convince BAs, architects and other team's leads not to make stupid decisions. The rest of my time I'm communicating the results back to my colleagues and writing escalation mails, because Steve again tried to re-introduce his god awful ideas that we shot down five times before and I'm hereby voicing my concerns in a business-like tone, but actually would want to exterminate him and his entire offspring.

My old project, however, was completely different and I actually spent 70% of my time actually writing code and 20% code-related meetings.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] xmunk 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No it isn't - a senior engineer should be a technical track professional that's excellent at their job - it's likely there will be a fair amount of mentorship but that can take many forms including PR reviews and pair programming.

A technical lead, architect, or a front line manager is the one that should be eating meetings four to six hours a day. And absolutely nobody should be in eight hours of meetings a day - even bullshit C level folks should be doing work outside of meetings. Eight hours of meetings means that you're just regurgitating the output of other meetings.

I'd clarify that having occasional eight hour meeting days isn't bad, there might be occasional collaboration jam sessions that everyone prepares for... but if your 8-5-52 is solid meetings then nothing productive is happening.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Staff Engineer: 10 hours of meetings each day

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

I've worked in a few places, all with senior engineers, including myself as a senior engineer, all of which the senior engineers spent most of their time actually engineering. If I went somewhere as a senior and was told I was going to be in meetings all day, I would quit because that's management, not engineering.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Where I work, Senior Engineer is an IC role. They attend the same meetings as other engineers. Its the Staff+ Engineers and managers that attend more meetings (in ascending order)

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

I wanted to write code with more authority and higher wage, not sit in endless meetings and explain to somebody why it's 8 story points instead of 5 🙄

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Of course there's no point in trying to rationalize this 'cos these people use meetings to try justify their usefulness to the company (HR does the same with random activities), so you end up drawing red lines with invisible ink...

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] xmunk 10 points 6 months ago

Talk to your manager, they're really fucking failing to support you. When I was a senior data architect I had about two hours of meetings a day.

load more comments
view more: next ›