this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024

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Mola the Fucktress (mander.xyz)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 171 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

This is similarly good.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago

Statistical mechanics killed my grandfather!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

That's great, I love it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Can confirm; definitely wanted to kill myself while studying PChem and Chemical Engineering Thermodynamics.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Are we sure that "φουτοῦτρις" isn't simply an ancient Greek word for "prostitute?" As in, the graffiti is just an inscription of her name and position within the brothel?

I'm imagining a fancy corner office with the nameplate on the door reading...

     Mola  
Lead Fucktress

...and a queue of horny, toga-clad men waiting to be called in by the secretary.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

A quick google shows Romans had a few words for prostitute, including meretrix, so it seems likely. Wiktionary says mere means pure in Latin, so... Uhhh

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 months ago

In a more refined society she would be referred to as a Warlord of the Bedchamber.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Best fucksmith in the business

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

Your comment reads like an Oglaf comic.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

having gone to catholic high school and taken latin, I find no fault in this logic.....teehee

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

that's clearly Greek

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago

FWIW, there is no indication that there is some etymological connection between futuo and fuck, because you could (mis)read the text like I did at first – although the translation is somewhat correct.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

She simultaneously give fuck and don't give a fuck. That's how she got the name, she's just so masterful with the fuck.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

OT, but I think we would make a great pair - something like Crouching tiger, hidden dragon.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Nice, Angry Stego, Annoyed Crabby, got a nice ring to it 😂

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Does this count as proto-shithouse graffiti?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago

No, but only because Pompeii has that too.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'd be happier with "Mola the Fuckstress" somehow.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (3 children)

That implies that she was capable of multiple fucks simultaneously, and as anyone who's attempted such would tell you: that ain't happening. Only one fuck at a time, and all others are bonus; though the current fuck at any given moment could very well cycle throughout the options, it's a matter of focused attention.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Given that she was literally a professional, I wouldn't be so quick to doubt her skills and expertise.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

While I'm a fan of your namesake, there is no evidence pointing to her "literal" profession.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The thing says the graffiti was written inside a brothel. I think it's safe to assume a "fucktress" in a brothel is probably at work.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Or, an avid client... Therefore, not a safe assumption.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why are the fucks in parallel rather than in series?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pluralization.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's not an answer, that merely denotes multiple fucks not multiple simultaneous fucks. And that's without we get to the sticky topic of multiple penetration, if someone is fucking an orifice and someone is fucking a different orifice is the owner of the orifices having a single fuck or a double fuck? What about the penetrators, are they necessarily sharing the same fuck or merely sharing a fuckstress?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Your own semantic challenges are not proof of any confusion within the linguistic system itself, and while I can understand the allure of conjuring lurid imagery, this query now edges toward masturbatory and I'll leave you to it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Damn. Where is a good fuckstress when you need one?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Probably ignoring your peasant ass for refusing to refer to her properly.

(Also, technically, she's been ash for centuries.)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

A No-longer-gives-a-fuckstress.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Apparently, her legend persists and therefore too, her title.

[–] ramius345 1 points 3 months ago

I mean, people have more than one hole for a reason.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

mola the fuckmistress