this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
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Just wanted to let y'all know: you can't kidnap seagulls from a parking lot. (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
24 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Seagulls are protected under the "Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918". This means that it is illegal to capture, kill, or keep a seagull in your home (unless you have a special permit).

So, no: you cannot go into the Meijer parking lot, yoink a seagull from the flock, and take it home.

This PSA has been brought to you by an argument with my son during a grocery pick-up.

Thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (7 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Almost happened to me once, but then I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

It's not so bad, really. From up here, Aurora borealis comes in view

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I understand that this is upsetting, as I know many Michigan residents who have lost loved ones in the Seagull Wars.

However, seagull deterrents are legal, as long as it does not directly harm the birds themselves.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with. They'd be more likely to run so far away with you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with.

Perhaps too heavy for Herring Gulls, but they could be carried by Great Black-Backed Gulls.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Perhaps if they were to put you on a line between them

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I really feel there’s a coconut joke in here somewhere

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Not entirely true. In bird culture, that is considered a dick move.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Unless the seagulls pick you up in a giant ass peach with the intention of freeing you from an abusive parent.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

However, if A Flock of Seagulls picked you up and took off with you, there WOULD be legal consequences.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

This is their land, we just moved here

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Seagulls have no respect for the law. https://i.makeagif.com/media/2-19-2018/aP6IRw.gif

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What if they poke you in the coconut?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

That counts as consent.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

then the coconut has a pretty good case and should call a lawyer

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well, I'd like to see anyone stop me, cuz my living room full of seagulls begs to differ.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

When the feds come to your door, they're gonna hear all those seagulls.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This entire post has been a wonderful read. Thank you all, for the good work you do.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

You're welcome. Happy to contribute useful knowledge to the community. 👍

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

This law brought to you by the seagullmen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lNqicJOvR8

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

They can absolutely kidnap you though