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[Question] How do you deal with your players romancing your NPCs? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm really interested to hear some opinions and ideas on how you deal with romance between NPCs and PCs.

I have barely any issues with RPing most anything, but approaching the more intimate bits like flirting runs into some mental blocks of mine.

Any input would be appreciated!

Note: Yes, talking to players and establishing expectations, etc. is always the answer. However, I am mainly looking to hear some ideas on how I might change my approach to it, because I'd very much like to be comfortable with all that.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

... how mature is your table?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Quite, Everyone is in their 30s. It's really just a hang-up on my end I am trying to figure out how to navigate.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I suppose I'd advise a perspective shift.

While I'm fully aware that's easier said than done, and assuming this is something you do want your table to have some kind of rp access to, you'd need to work on your own ability to tolerate the behavior.

What specifically about the flirting rp bothers you? If you can home in on that, then may be able to establish some boundaries with your table that will both allow them the rp possibilities you're looking for, while also keeping things smooth and comfortable to you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Well, as I mentioned in other replies, I don't want to avoid my discomfort with it but rather work through it and overcome it.

Someone on mastodon gave me some good advice to frame it all as part of the directed story telling. So using the flirting as a device to move the plot forward. I believe I've seen it more or less as it's own thing for the sake of itself rather than part of the ongoing game. Might be that goes in the same vein as your suggestion of perspective shift.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't game that much these days, but as an OSR fan, I try to avoid making hard rules and definitely don't apply them to all, so no "in general" opinion from me.

It all relied on the situation, group, game, adventure. There were times when players romancing was a sign that they get bored (say, DarkSun), there were times when romancing became a centerpiece of the adventure (oWoD).

These days, I'm interested in scenarios where plenty of things happen in a short amount of time, so I think that there would be little room for romancing, as players would be too preoccupied with survival...

I am mainly looking to hear some ideas on how I might change my approach to it, because I’d very much like to be comfortable with all that.

But you don't have to. Not everyone appreciates every aspect of ttRPGaming equally and forcing yourself to change your ways because you feel you should isn't always the answer. Especially if the situation makes you uncomfortable. I know I wouldn't feel good about Andy, a bald bearded Hell's Angel lookalike "hitting on me" just becuse I happen to control a girl character now. 😆

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I know, I don't have to. I see that part of RPing more of a skill-sub-set in acting/improv. I'd like to be able to step outside of my hang up ans do engage with it in a sensible, fun way.

Like I am working on getting better with voices and recalling them in later sessions. That's a skill to me. Being able to flirt or throw an angry fit or be compassionate as the situation requires for the NPC are all equal skills in my mind. Some of them I'm decent with, others, like flirting, I can't quite wrap my head around to get there.