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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Dramatic-Sun1223 on 2024-01-21 23:30:49+00:00.
Original Title: My (24F) friend (20M) invited me over in a suggestive way and then when I got there he told me he wanted me to teach him math. I got mad at him for wasting my time and he blamed me for not getting the joke.
I've known him for two years. I met him when I was tutoring students in math at my university where I am a grad student. I have tutored him a lot over the past two years, but only at school where I was getting paid to do it. We have also become friends and hung out outside of school, but without anything sexual happening between us before.
Last night, he sent me a text message saying "I want you on my bed with me tonight." I was taken by surprise but I made sure the text message was meant for me and I considered it and decided to go. I had been stressed from school/work and felt like having a good time, so I decided to go over.
I got there and he led me to his bedroom, where he had a calculus textbook and a notebook on his bed. He said "Show me what Asian women are good at." I thought he was joking at first, and I told him to put his books away.
He said "I need you to help me with calculus," and insisted he was serious. He said that "obviously" he had no sexual interest in me and wanted me to tutor him at home and that he would pay me. I told him I didn't go there to work and that it was disrespectful of him to pull a bait and switch like that on me. Then he said "You have a twenty minute drive anyway so you might as well not let it be for nothing."
I left anyway and texted him the next day that I felt disrespected the way he had wasted my time. That's when he told me he had been drunk and that I should have made sure he was sober before taking anything he said seriously, knowing it was a Saturday night. He said didn't even think I liked men because I compliment women more. And finally he said it should have been obvious given the nature of our relationship that he was joking.
I told him I knew he had only done that to get me to go over knowing I wouldn't if he had just told me what he wanted and that I don't like to be deceived like that. I'm starting to wonder if I should stop hanging out with him, or if I should give him another chance.
TL;DR! - I'm thinking about cutting him off because of his lack of respect for my time.