this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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Off My Chest

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RULES:


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I need to vent. Mods, if this kind of thing isn't welcome in this community anymore...oh well. It helped me feel better at least typing my thoughts into the void.

I got married to a wonderful, beautiful woman in 2021 after being together for 5 years. My parents are big cruise fanatics. They go on vacation like this about once every year or two. We both told them before the wedding - because they did this for my brother when he got married - they can get us whatever they want for a wedding gift, just PLEASE no cruises.

And they listened! We got some very nice, very expensive bedsheets that were perfect!

Fast forward a year. I get a call. My parents booked a 4 day cruise to Mexico over the week after Christmas '23. I'm not particularly assertive, but I was offering pushback on it. I got told shit like "you're getting a free vacation" and "how many opportunities like this are you going to get" and "we tried our best to accommodate you."

My wife also didn't want it. Neither of us asked for this. But after a few months of talking about it, both of us agreed: it's free, let's give it a fair shake.

Fair shake given. We tried our best to like this. I'm writing this from my cabin docked at Cozumel. We deboarded the ship for 15 minutes and were immediately overwhelmed by the crowd. We turned around, went back to our cabin and are now sleeping the day away. Maybe we'll hit up the hot tub before everybody comes back. The crowd is too much. The longer I spend on this gargantuan vessel, the smaller it gets.

My brother, his wife, and their two small kids are also here. I think they're also pretty exhausted. It seems like my parents have gone out of their way to spend time with that foursome. As for me, I only get notifications once they're already somewhere and I have to catch up. I got a message saying "We're at Senor Frogs." I did not get "We're going to Senor Frogs. Wanna meet up?"

I feel like a piece of shit for not appreciating it. I feel invisible because I didn't ask for this. And I feel angry because I feel like an afterthought. I feel like I got invited to this because my parents wanted to spend a week with my brother's kids and I was given a ticket to tag along so I wouldn't feel left out. I wouldn't have felt left out by not being invited to something I didn't want. I wouldn't feel left out if I had been given the opportunity to say no.

I'm just burnt tf out. I want my house. With my quarter acre. And my neighbor with the stupid subwoofer. I want my bed (that doesn't rock because it's on solid ground), my cats, my dog, my plaid pajamas, my cold weather, and my coffee back at home in Oklahoma. I would have rather stayed home and built puzzles with my (also puzzle-loving) wife for a week. We are slow-paced, solitary, almost antisocial creatures. I'm wired differently from my family. And though I feel guilty for being unappreciative of their gesture, I won't feel ashamed of being different. I didn't ask to be this way.

Anyway, if you've made it this far, thanks for reading my rant. I'm done. We shove off back for the States in an hour or so. We're over the hill. We'll be home soon, and I will never do this again.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (2 children)

what is up with cruises now? I've heard at least a dozen people going on their first cruise this month, having never hearing anyone personally going on one before now

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

It's a sign you're getting old 🧓

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I don't like them either. Also, cruises are also terrible for the environment. Burning bunker fuel to drag your entire hotel and more around on your vacation is incredibly wasteful.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

You're quirky, but if they love you, they should respect and accommodate your quirks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Unwanted favors are the worst

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

To tell the truth, I would have still done it if I was in your position. If only for the experience, and four days isn't so long. You did it. You didn't like it. Now you know.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It’s been a few years since I’ve been to Cozumel, and while the town is cute and can be fun for an afternoon when it’s not packed with cruise ship denizens (as it would have been for you), it’s the other quieter parts of the island which is where the island really shines. You two could have rented some motor scooters (or taken a taxi — it’s only something like 30km from the cruise ship terminal) and headed out to the south eastern corner of the island and chilled out at Rastas and Freedom in Paradise, or just upped your tan in peace over along the kilometres of quiet beaches on the east coast along the C-1. Or maybe you two could have arranged to take a dive lesson — Cozumel is surrounded by some of the best tropical reef systems in North America.

I get that you and your wife weren’t fond of being on the cruise in the first place (as a natural introvert it’s not really my idea of a dream vacation either TBH), but when you had your one chance to get off and find some space and peace, you stayed on the cruise ship. That’s a lack of trip planning, and that part is on you IMO.

So if you find yourself in a situation like this again, post in a suitable travel sub with you and your wife’s preferences and get some suggestions — well before you leave. And avoid cruising next time — being on a boat that vomits out a thousand people all into the same small town isn’t usually the best recipe for fun — especially for more introverted people like us. HTH!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I agree - part of this is on you OP for seemingly not at least trying to plan out the trip with your partner after agreeing to go. No duh it’s gonna be miserable as hell if you just stay on the ship majority of the time, it’s just a vessel that tries to comfortably get you to the real events: the ports and the towns.

I’m not a big fan of cruises either, but you bet your bottom dollar I’m gonna make the most of each area I’ll stop at if I go on one.

[–] mindbleach 1 points 7 months ago

itsvondell: "Someone is going to say 'I have to go to the moon' in a bored, defeated tone one day."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Reminds me of the time when I was a kid where my mom and ex-stepdad wanted us to go on a helicopter on vacation. The second I saw it, I didn’t wanna go. I didn’t know what to expect and I was terrified. I don’t like going way up in the air. I complained until they eventually took me away from the place. I had a firm no against my narcissistic “parents” lol

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Well, you're there, so do your best.

If you two want to sleep the days away, things are MUCH more chill in the middle of the night. Whole different experience!

If your family is mad about y'all skipping out in the daytime activities? I'm sure there's plenty of good advice as to what to say below.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

I don't pretend to be an expert world traveler, but --

I've been on some Caribbean cruises (the place, not the cruise line), and they've been "okay" to "great." For me, being on a ship sets a clear boundary to my possible activities, which is comfortable. Even on a busy ship, you can always find a quiet place to sit. Yes, if you disembark at a port, you're going to spend your time in the "cruise ship tourist port" area - but, frankly, you generally don't want to wander outside that area anyway. A shore excursion can give you a bit more local flavor, but make sure to book those through the cruise line.

I've also been to St. Maarten a few times, and Aruba, to resorts. St. Maarten is quite easy for American tourists; everyone speaks English, pretty much everywhere will take US dollars, and they have the only international airport in the northern Caribbean outside of Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic (and, I suppose, Cuba, but I can't really go there). If you want to experience local flavor, I can definitely recommend St. Maarten, take a trip to Marigot on the French side. Aruba is a literal desert, and there's a fair bit of historical sightseeing to be done.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

For the internet drama, I vote that you make the remaining time hell for everyone involved. Dig out those corpses at family dinner. Bring up the time dad cheated on your mom or something like that.

Fake a terrible infectious disease that will get your vessel put in quarantine for a month (even if you don't want that, do it for us)

Find a crew radio and announce that they're not being paid for the rest of the cruise.

Listen to more bad advice from people commenting here!

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[–] [email protected] -3 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Honestly, suck it up. It's a four day cruise, and you're going to strike the victim pose and mope around?

You accepted this gift, so chin up, make the best of it. If all you can focus on is the negative, then that's all it'll be for you.

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[–] [email protected] -4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Nah fuck them.

They guilt tripped you into something so they could force that "you owe us" dynamic.

Sounds like narcissists.

I would have told them "we're not going, do not bring it up again." and if they do just block them on everything until after new years. If they want to bitch about it after that, I can just ignore them for years until they get it through their heads.

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