this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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Transfem

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Where are all my transhet sisters?

I love the queer community and I feel like the more I work on myself, the less accepted I will be as a queer person.

For example, I joined a queer friend-finding app recently which didn't have an option to label myself heterosexual. At first I went stealth and didn't list my sexuality, and I got lesbians calling me a tease. I made a public post about being transhet and I mostly got messages from weird cis men.

I'm going to look for friends only under the trans umbrella for now, online and irl.

To that end: I like pop music, knitting, and politics. Please tell me your favorite online communities and people to follow!

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[โ€“] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm nonbinary, married to a trans woman. Every time I lean into my more masc presenting side, part of me is sad that we don't appear MORE queer, and part of me wonders if I'm subconsciously wanting to pass as a straight couple. Isn't identity a fuckin trip?

The way I see it, people have been putting us in boxes our whole lives.

Straight afab didn't fit me, bisexual kinda does, lesbian was better, now trans nonbinary omnisexual is me, lol.

Language is imperfect. All we can do is use that imperfect language to tell each other about our real selves, and anyone giving you shit for that is really missing the point... We're queer because we looked at our assigned boxes and said "nope" ๐Ÿ’œ

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

"nope"! I love it! Lol identity is a fucking trip. It's so amorphous, just as you find the words to describe it you realize you haven't looked at it from a particular angle or accounted for certain behaviors or feelings.