this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
62 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3336 readers
21 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Hiya ladies,

Today I'm trying to understand how to let go of the mean, unhappy boy I never wanted to be, and embrace the passionate, loving girlie I dream of becoming.

Before I was brave enough to accept myself I was self-isolating, over eating, and indulging in various other coping mechanisms for short term, unsustainable dopamine hits. I was also mean, anti-social, and very standoffish because I thought that's who people expected me to be.

Now I want to be, need to be, someone completely different, letting out the parts of myself that I suppressed for so long I forgot they were even there. How did you do it? How did you unlearn those almost instinctive behaviours and defence mechanisms that keep people away and keep your real self buried and suffocating?

Thank you in advance <3

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Since therapy has been mentioned a few times already, I would go with something else for a change of pace.

Even the worst behaviour has at least some "positive" or desirable aspects that are important to a person.

So if you find why you tend towards certain behaviour, take some time and effort to isolate these aspects.

More importantly, you then need to find something to replace it with something that contains the aspects you value, but do not have the same harmfull side-effects.

Example: Smoking when you are bored or to keep your moth busy. Instead of "just quitting" (which might be difficult), a switch to chewing gum might be more effective, while stopping the damage smoking causes.

Hope this helps!