this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
62 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3336 readers
21 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Hiya ladies,

Today I'm trying to understand how to let go of the mean, unhappy boy I never wanted to be, and embrace the passionate, loving girlie I dream of becoming.

Before I was brave enough to accept myself I was self-isolating, over eating, and indulging in various other coping mechanisms for short term, unsustainable dopamine hits. I was also mean, anti-social, and very standoffish because I thought that's who people expected me to be.

Now I want to be, need to be, someone completely different, letting out the parts of myself that I suppressed for so long I forgot they were even there. How did you do it? How did you unlearn those almost instinctive behaviours and defence mechanisms that keep people away and keep your real self buried and suffocating?

Thank you in advance <3

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I don't know if there's any single way to change those parts of yourself. For me, it involved a lot of therapy and learning to interrupt my thought patterns. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped me change my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I originally did a whole write-up on 1 particular analogy that I found really helpful back then, but it's hard to say if one strategy that worked for me will be effective for you. Changing one's self and growing into the person you want to be is hard.