Yeah this hurt. When I became homeless I ended up vanishing from everything. Had no Internet access or anything. Was just gone. Always checked in with people. Was there when needed and then I can't contact anyone for a month. I was worried about my friends and worried they were worried about me and that I couldn't tell them what was going on.
When I finally got access to the Internet to message people I realized no one had even noticed. No one messaged me asking where I was. No one checked in. No one did anything. I sent a couple people a message like "Hey hows it going?" and they'd respond with the usual. Really didn't notice I was gone.
I ended up logging back out of all of it. Didn't login again until a year later when I was in a homeless shelter trying to figure things out.
One person messaged me.
They were asking if I could share Netflix with them.
I deleted my accounts. Have a hard time trusting people and making friends noe not like childhood abuse from my mother made it easy. How do you believe people care when your parents don't and when the people you loved didnt?
Happy Holidays. I'm spending mine in bed.
Isn't this actually better? I wouldn't want to hurt anyone if I disappeared. In fact it feels more like freedom, to be able to pick my hat and go off to random places without people worrying over me
I mean it might be if you aren't feeling profoundly alienated from humanity and worthless to begin with. Also if the context is homelessness and your survival being in question it would feel pretty bad that everyone's left you to die. But of course there is a mindset factor there, probably someone who isn't depressed and can take care of themselves just fine could feel alright about no one worrying over them.