Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
view the rest of the comments
So I don't know exactly where you are in your journey, but I have some general advice...
If you don't have one yet, think about your transition plan and goals. Obviously HRT is one that falls under medical transition, and there are many others such as hair removal/restoration and various surgeries; and various steps for social and legal transition.
Everyone's plan is different and should be uniquely tailored to yourself. It's never too early to think about.
For example, I wanted to begin with HRT, both to confirm I made the correct decision, and to relieve dysphoria as soon as possible, while giving myself time to work on other things. Now three years in, HRT has done much for me, and I've found confidence to begin tackling the rest, such as electrolysis hair removal, voice therapy, surgical consultations, outfit and style exploration, and opening up to more people about my identity.
It's super cool when you start crossing items off your list and realize all the progress made!
And yes, patience is key. You will most likely have breast tenderness sooner than you think. But that is such an early sign and only the beginning of the beginning of changes to come. Like after two years, I thought my breast growth was finished, but I've recently had growth spurts and rounding, it's amazing. Don't believe everything you hear or read, puberty really is a long slow process.
I would also suggest not obsessively comparing your progress to others. Especially online not everyone is honest about their appearance, and even if they are, there are always outliers who get lucky. Scrolling through selfies of beautiful young trans girls is dangerous, believe ms. I feel so much better and more confident without that in my life. Focusing on myself, building a support network, and making progress at my own pace, those are the keys IMO :)
That all sounds like great advice; I appreciate it!
I like the idea of having a plan. I'm at the very beginning of transition, so just about all of it is ahead of me. For me, starting with HRT is mostly to stop my body from continuing to change in the wrong direction (hair loss in particular), because the changes take a long time so I might as well get started, and because it's already clear to me that I would end up starting eventually anyway. I intend to explore every avenue of transition, but it's definitely too overwhelming to do everything at once, so having a plan to follow would help to avoid spiraling too much and losing momentum that way. And tracking progress like you said seems like a great idea. I tend to get overwhelmed by To Do lists, too, though, so it's a double-edged sword. ๐
I'm tempted to ask if you have any suggestions on which areas would be most impactful to start with, but that's probably going to be different for everyone. And it might make more sense to do things in parallel anyway, since so much of it will take time.