Comic Strips

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Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

The post can be a single image, an image gallery, or a link to a specific comic hosted on another site (the author's website, for instance).
The comic must be a complete story.
If it is an external link, it must be to a specific story, not to the root of the site.
You may post comics from others or your own.
If you are posting a comic of your own, a maximum of one per week is allowed (I know, your comics are great, but this rule helps avoid spam).
The comic can be in any language, but if it's not in English, OP must include an English translation in the post's 'body' field (note: you don't need to select a specific language when posting a comic).
Politeness.
Adult content is not allowed. This community aims to be fun for people of all ages.

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Offering solutions is annoying (lemmy.world)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

The core problem, as always, is communication.

If you want to vent, or gain some compassion and care, and you're talking about your problems to a problem solver - say it.

Don't say "I have problem A and I don't need solutions". Say "I know what to do with this, but it's very frustrating and I need your support". Yes, just like that. Admit, with words, that you want them to care for you. That's it.

If you're a problem solver, and you know the other person is often willing to just vent, or if you're not completely sure your advice is wanted, ask it.

Don't say "Just do B, problem solved". Say "I might have some ideas on how to help you. Do you want my advice or should I just be there for you?". And then if they want it - go for it! Don't expect them to be ignorant of simple solutions; most likely they already thought them over, and either dismissed them for reasons not obvious to you from the first glance, or they already made it part of their plan.

Talk such things through, it will do wonders. For both of you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I completely agree that you need to communicate. But that is outside the issue posed by the previous poster who said that it's too emotionally taxing to just listen when you want to problem solve. Their comment implies that the conversation has been had, they know their partner just needs to vent, but being the listener their partner needs will cause "compassion fatigue"

So I attempted to rephrase it so that the "rational problem solver" could satisfy their "need to problem solve in contradiction to what their partner needs" by presenting it in a way that listening, is in fact the solution, to the problem at hand.