this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
952 points (94.9% liked)

Comic Strips

12786 readers
3076 users here now

Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

Web of links

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 138 points 1 year ago (8 children)

If feel like us guys are at a disadvantage here. All our lives were are told not to complain unless we bring a solution, not to cry, get up, keep moving.

Then suddenly the thought pattern we have been trained on all our lives turns out to not be healthy for supporting others and it's a hard transition to make when we want so desperately to help and are asked not to.

Not saying it's wrong, just hard.

[–] sbv 88 points 1 year ago (4 children)

it's a hard transition to make when we want so desperately to help and are asked not to.

Listening is helping. It took me a while to get that, but we're helping just by being quiet.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yes, but there's a disconnect between helping directly and helping indirectly. Listening is indirect help, passive help. It's helping simply by existing, which is antithetical to the above commenters train of logic.

I'm not saying you're wrong, or that it's not something that people should learn to do... but it's not always something you can solve by making that connection.

[–] Ataraxia 6 points 1 year ago

Many people don't want advice and that's fine. I complain not because I want them to fix it but because it helps me organize my thoughts and verify that my complaints are valid so that I can see if it's something I can fix myself, often though complaining about bad things that I cannot fix. I am perfectly capable of handling problems as an adult, but people need to vent so they can actually focus on a solution.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)