this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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How to handle "you're too sensitive" and other similar remarks? (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
39 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm learning that being told "you're too sensitive" and other such remarks is considered gaslighting. However, as autistic individuals, we are known for being highly sensitive, both with perceptions and emotions. So, I find myself wondering if perhaps I need to consider that I am more sensitive than the general population and accommodate what I see as their insensitivity, dismissiveness, and blame-shifting.

How do you handle being told "you're too sensitive"?

What do you think would be a healthy response?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I try to keep in mind that everyone around me isn't acting with perfect and constant skill or patience in their interactions, and have their own issues and anxieties big or small.

By that I mean "you are too sensitive" tends to come from someone being frustrated that they don't know how to behave towards/around you. Often it helps a lot to forgive them the initial mistake of blaming you, assume their position for a bit, and approach them for a conversation starting with "yes, I am sensitive but it's not something I can turn off".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I could see this approach working, and I will take it into consideration next time. However, in this case, this isn't the only instance of gaslighting. This person knows what they are doing and are certainly doing it purposefully.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Ah. So they are trying to shut you down for a weakness instead of accomodating it?

It sounds like you have the most important part handled already: noticing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Yes! Thank you. My eyes are seeing it clearly now that it was pointed out 👀