Intel
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You shouldn’t be crashing at stock settings, throttling maybe but not crashing. I assume you have done cmos clear? And is this a fresh windows 11 install? Have you tried in safe mode by chance? Updated to the latest motherboard bios?
Is the CPU within its return period? Might be worth it just to be 100% sure. If not and you need to go through an RMA with Intel. Try running the Intel CPU Diagnostic Tool. https://www.intel.com/content/www/us/en/download/15951/intel-processor-diagnostic-tool.html even if it passes it doesn’t 100% mean it’s your CPU. And Intel will request you run it prior to RMA (at least in my experience) only takes a few minutes so might as well give it a go.
After ~12 hours of stress testing, a bios reflash, and OS reinstall, it's working great now. I don't know exactly what the problem was, but I can now recreate it if I raise the Turbo Power Limit. Even numbers as low as 270watts (with good temperatures) will cause it to crash exactly like i described in my original post.