this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2023
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I like lists and spreadsheets.
I made one spreadsheet for going through dating profiles in OKCupid.
I don't remember many details from it anymore - maybe my current girlfriend I've been with for more than a year now was the about 200-300th profile I crashed upon. And maybe there was a 15% chance that a profile I liked answered my message once and never again.
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Finding a partner may also need persistence.
I was determined enough to find someone beside me. I worked with my goal and with that spreadsheet for months, having pauses here and there.
Why the spreadsheet? Cos (I like 'em plus) I wanted to know and MEASURE, how much work my goal needed to for it to be accomplished (in my case, under these stars and circumstances).
(I didn't pay for the service.)
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How determined are you?
Now who says romance is dead?!?
I guess it gets down to whatever whoever is ready to do to reach their Goal X.
Of course - in this case - it could require much less work to find a one-night stand partner than a serious relationship partner.
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And - Online dating isn't the only option!
If you get tired of the digital files and the algorithms and the profiles, go outside and meet new folks!
the internet turned dating into a grindset. not everything can be solved with "do you even lift ?"
Would dating be easier outside the Internet?
I called it the statistical approach. I messaged any woman I found visually attractive or that seemed interesting and fun through their description. Didn't limit myself to one app and in messages always made it clear I was looking for a relationship in real life and wasn't looking to chat for long. I probably messaged around 20 to 40 people a day. Got a positive message back around every 2 days or so. So one in 2 days roughly. Sometimes less, sometimes more. I had a several dates during the course of half a year or so ranging from fun to boring to catastrophic. Some casual hookups happened but it was rare. Sometimes dating lasted for a few weeks but didn't work out. Then eventually I met my now wife and mother of my kids.
Online dating is still bs but I found this approach to work for me.