this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
146 points (93.5% liked)
Asklemmy
43750 readers
1180 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Honestly that sounds bleak AF.
Why would you ever "compartmentalize" your inner child? That doesn't sound like a real thing, that sounds like whoever influenced you (and/or yourself) making you cut off the things you like for no reason.
You know what's telling about the whole above description that you gave of your life?
You never take ownership or agency. Everything you wrote, you wrote as if it happened to you, and you were just a passive observer with no control over the situation.
Why was your commute so long? Why when work ended at 5pm, did you not have hours to play until you had to go to bed around midnight? Why did you never choose to change your situation?
Because they made the right choice for the goals they set out to reach. The lack of agency is just a playful way of writing.
It sounds like they made no choices and lived life passively just doing what was expected of them.
And there is rarely a single path to achieve an objective.
There's nothing wrong with doing what's expected of you. At any time I can give up my career and coast at the expense of my stability but I never choose that option. That doesn't mean I'm not making the decision to continue to work.
If you have an option to keep my free time and financial stability then I'm listening.
There is something wrong with never making choices to try and improve your life though.
Find a better / closer / remote job and quit your current one.
Buy or rent cheaper housing so that you're not so financially constrained and / or have a shorter commute.
Don't just finish school and spend all your free time mindlessly dating because that's whats expected and then spend all your free time just doing couple stuff and then spend all your free time raising kids. Carve out time for your own hobbies and interests and friends.
OP looking back and yearning for their childhood does not mean they did anything wrong in their life path. Growing away from your childhood is very common.
You have no idea if OP is proud of their path and is casually reminiscing or if they believe they should have done something different.
All of your wikihow tier advice is a weirdly specific to a life that we know nothing about. OP has discipline to continually make the same decision to stay on their path instead of getting distracted by selfish instant gratification.
They're disconnected from their "inner child" the universal symbol of joyous freedom. No one yearns to be connected to their inner miserable child. The fact that they're asking, is an inherent sign of discontentness and I stand by it sounding bleak. And lots of people living bleak lives doesn't make them less bleak.
The broad advice was in response to your broad context free question:
If you want better advice, ask a better question, if you want generic advice on how to have better financial stability and more free time, than the answer probably lies in your job, your housing, and your relationships.
Lmao, look who's painting an oddly specific picture in literally the next sentence. XD
Telling someone to change jobs and avoid dating is not the same thing as saying he delayed gratification. The ladder is just a quality of growing away from your childhood.
My question was rhetorical. You still tried to answer my question by making up context just like your posts about OP. This is what I'm saying is pointless. There are more important things in life than retaining your childhood such as providing for yourself and others. I would guess in most cases, growing away from your childhood is done out of necessity. It's a sacrifice of time people choose because of the consequences of the alternative but you say OP should have made different decisions to prioritize their childhood? Your criticisms are only valid for someone who sacrifices needlessly which doesn't seem like a common thing.