this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2023
7 points (65.2% liked)
Male Fashion Advice
1670 readers
1 users here now
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
The point is that in the vast majority of situations, suits aren't a choice, but rather a mandatory thing either per social pressure or an actual rule. And that's why so many people absolutely hate them. Things might be changing, but still too many situations require them.
It's not the suits you hate, it's the norms. Those norms are dying, but they're making room for those of us who enjoy suits to just wear them because we want to.
Personally... I'm still thinking I'll try a black tie dress code for my wedding, or maybe creative black tie, or something like that... just the vibe I want. But I'm not getting married any time soon, and I suspect most of my guests won't mind, knowing my friends and family.
No. It's both the norms and the suit itself.
And by all means, have whatever dress code you want for your wedding, but I'll tell you something that not one of your friends will admit to you - they'll hate you at least a little for it if you force them into a black tie. They'll all pretend it's fine, but they won't like it.
Why do you think everybody thinks the way you think?
What is it about the suit itself, aside from the expectation to wear it, that you hate?
My community—my family—only has black tie or black tie optional weddings. To clarify, "black tie" does not mean "wear a tie that is black," it means "wear a dark tuxedo with a bowtie and follow these other rules." "Black tie optional" means, "you can wear a tux if you want to, or you can just wear a dark suit with a long tie." I have one cousin who hates ties, but for weddings, he is happy to make an exception. He'd be especially happy for his own cousin's wedding, and wouldn't think twice about it.
My friends include friends from law school most of whom are very used to wearing ties, especially to fancy events like weddings. Many of them wore ties (bowties included) to their own weddings, and did not seem to resent their wives for "forcing them" to do it.
And you know who else I have as friends? A bunch of menswear dorks in the city like me who love a suit and tie. Like, they look for excuses to put 'em on. They get especially excited for an excuse to put on eveningwear (IE, tuxedos and stuff). A business suit feels like business, to me; a tuxedo feels like a party. These guys would especially revel in a "creative black tie" dress code, an opportunity to play with the aforementioned rules.
Maybe if I invite friends from undergrad, some of them wouldn't be into it? Hard to guess, I haven't spoken to those guys in a long time.