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Smacking children and how it literally has no benefit to the child whatsoever, and makes you a bad parent if you still do it.
I used to be a strong supporter of smacking kids, I even signed a government petition to revoke the NZ anti-smacking bill, but after studying it at uni and then keeping abreast of the research afterwards, it has only negative effects, and yet bad parents still defend it.
Hard to talk about because people get weirdly defensive even when there's NO evidence that smacking kids is either beneficial or effective.
What is the appropriate way to parent children? All my friends who try the “gentle parenting” approach have horrible children. They don’t listen and their only gear is shrieking banshee. Most children I’ve witnessed don’t listen to logic or reason so how do you discipline? I don’t have nor do I ever want children, I’m just curious. I also dislike children so my perspective may be slightly jaded.
IMO I'm pro spanking within reason. There's circumstances where it's warranted. I don't believe in going overboard but the problem is that's all based on opinion from person to person. Lots of kids I see need a spanking based on how they act in public. I'd agree that the parents I've seen "gentle parent" have kids who are assholes and the ones I've seen grow up are still assholes but older. Could be a fault in the parent somewhere but idk. I was spanked as a kid and looking back, when I was spanked it was absolutely warranted. Spanked my oldest as I deemed necessary and he's turned out to be pretty caring for others and a really solid dude. He's my son and best friend.
I guess my thought is that spanking is OK but should be seldom used and within reason. Unfortunately "reason" is subjective.
I was also spanked as a kid. My dad’s was fueled by hatred and anger. It was very rough and mean and he’d yell afterwards. We have a terrible relationship and are basically no contact. My mom spanked rarely but it was a compassionate spanking. Afterwards she would explain why, ask me not to do the bad thing again, and then hug me and make me tell her I loved her. We have an excellent relationship. So I yeah, I think spanking can be done in a positive way but only reserved for dire situations. So, I’m not quite sold on the gentle parenting. The world isn’t gentle and will rarely cater to your needs. I’m willing to hear perspectives and view outcomes though!
Right, I think the core issue is that most people (a LOT) use spanking as an immediate, "no!" which leads to many beatings, excessiveness, and more than likely, actual physical abuse.
The people I've met where their parents were responsible with it are great dudes. The people I've met who were simply... Beaten and battered, do not live successful lives for the most part.
My opinion, is that it can be effective if used responsibly and within reason.
Most comments I get are along the lines of, "ha have fun asking why your son doesn't talk to you in the future." what they don't see is that we're best friends and my kid is an adult and is "punishing us" by threatening to live at home longer every time we ask him to clean up the basement. He's responsible af, has a good savings, bought a new car, works full time, etc. I don't understand the issue when everything has turned out amazing. Yes, I spanked my kid. I did not hit him with any object, throw him, punch him, throw things at him, etc.
It's difficult to accept the other perspective of gentle parenting when most of those kids I meet are total selfish assholes. Even more so when I compare to the level of responsibility, competency, and integrity that my son has compared to other people his age. Like I said in another post, I must be a backwards ass statistical anomaly or something. Either that, or I did it right. If not, I did something right.