[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Not sure anybody thinks it's a good idea to bond for life without some experience? It's certainly not the default, and the roots of that sort of monogamy are dark as fuck, it was mostly only enforced on women in a really shitty manner.

But CHOOSING to be monogamous is reasonable. Especially if you have a good match, and enough experience to know it's a good match. It's still fun, and less risk of disease. If there was no STI risk I don't think it would be so popular though. Some combination of a solid long term partner and some degree of freedom for swinging or occasional fun would be less of a threat and more just some fun.

I don't think divorce/breakup is usually just because someone wants to be more sexually free though? It's more like relationship problems cause sex life problems and relationship problems cause divorce or breakups.