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How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So I'm a queer woman and I swear ALL OF MY FRIENDS are some level of poly. Which, rock on! Good for them! But my GF and I are happily monogamous and can't imagine a future where we open it up. I have no shade, I've read the poly books, watched the open relationships YouTube and listened to the theroy, I totally understand where they are coming from and why it works for people. The divorce rate is a good enough example as any for why it makes people happy. Monogamy is not something to enforced or expected of people, clearly it isn't working for most folk.

But I also know any thing more than 1 partner just sounds STRESSFUL. Like, I always work myself up wondering if I am messing up ONE relationship, idk how y'all do it with multiple people to worry about. 😂

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

3 partners is easier than 2.

More partners means more eyes ensuring everyone's needs are met and everyone is being held to reasonable standards of accountability.

Also more people to suggest good restaurants!