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How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I never really believed in 'the one', but I met my wife when I was 27 and without being cheesy there was definitely something different between us from the get go compared to previous relationships (serious and otherwise) I'd had.

The definition of 'monogomy' is just 'being in a relationship with one person' though. What you're talking about is an idealised version of Romance which I personally don't buy into. It puts too much pressure on the idea of everything being perfect which nothing ever is.

I think the best thing is just to chill. Meet people you like. Meet people you don't like. There'll be fallow periods where you don't seem to be getting dates or anything for months or longer (my record - 3 long years...)

But whatever you do don't start looking up at statistics and things, because that does start to look incel. Do not become incel, or any of the other manosphere stuff. That's the best advice.