this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
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It's always sunny in philadelphia
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I'm sorry you went through that! But you're 100% right and how I have managed to protect myself and surround myself only with good people after trauma. I think disrespecting boundaries is the first red flag for most abuse. Pleading, guiltily, bargaining etc to get you to relent on your original boundary, no matter how small. I so wish more people were aware of this. And to be clear it's not every time a person does that but I am definitely taking it into consideration with a critical eye especially if it becomes a common occurrence.
Another thing is be very aware of how they treat or talk about others, or what other people say about them. I can't tell you how many times someone in my life would reply "well they are always nice to me" about a jerk that they would eventually also be burned by that jerk. How they treat others you WILL eventually be the recipient of.