Drugs

I am not a weed smoker even thought I smoke weed occasionally (a few hits once every couple of months I guess, only when it's offered, I've never had a joint alone at my place), but I've tried many different drugs and some of them I use more frequently than others.

I've always been interested in drugs and I've spent some time on Erowid even before trying them for the first time, and the one drug that I wanted to try more than any other was mdma because of all the great experiences I've read online, and also because I am a big fan of 90s electronic music, and some genres are historically linked to ecstasy usage.

When I've finally been able to try mdma at a techno party, unfortunately I dosed too much (I perfectly knew what was the recommended dosage, the crystals we used were tested and weighted - unfortunately I misunderstood what my friend told me about the dosage in the bag he gave me (two doses instead of one) and I don't remember the whole night. But I had a blast nonetheless, and this experience made me want to try to explore drugs. It's definitely the experience that showed me that the altered state that you experience while under the influence of these substances is worth exploring, especially if you're doing it with other people.

Finding drugs was not a problem at all at the time, because legal techno parties in big cities such as Milan were full of drugs. But I didn't fully trust what dealers were selling, and even when my friends brought their substances to the party I never wanted to try them because of the the place - it wasn't that easy to find a quiet spot with no people where to isolate, and I was a little paranoid. For some reason we never organized to try them before or after a party, probably because I've always felt shy being the only one that was trying a specific substance for the first time, even if there was nothing to be shy about and my friends were fully supportive. Anyway, I really started to use substances when I started to go to freeparties. They last 2-3 days, you can do drugs pretty much anywhere, you go there with your tents so you have your safe spot where to isolate or cooldown or do whatever you want. At parties I've been able to try many different drugs - ketamine, 2cb, speed, cocaine, dmt, some RCs - and for a long time, I limited my drugs usage to parties only. I kinda still do actually, but sometimes I bring home a gram of ketamine that I use alone, and I have quite some speed lying around that I've used before some social gatherings, but I still mostly use at parties.

Luckily when I entered the drugs world, I already knew the basics and the harm reduction guidelines about every substance I wanted to try. I think I've always been very responsible with them, and the fact that I am the "harm reduction" guy of my friends group (I always bring with me a full reagents test kit, saline solution, straws to cut, magnesium, NAC, all that kind of stuff) kind of pushed me to act as the responsible drugs nerd (even if I'm not a drugs nerd, and in my friends group there's definitely people who know more than me about psychoactive substances).

I have never tried LSD or shrooms because in so many years I've never felt comfortable with the environment/surroundings. With some friends we often discuss to organize together and go somewhere in the mountains and take LSD, but none of them is a big psychedelics fan so :(

I don't plan on quitting because I think my usage is not problematic, and I like doing drugs. The one drug that I would have a hard time quitting forever, btw, it's caffeine. I am not operational without it if I don't get a full 8 hours of sleep (eg. workdays). I try to limit coffees to <=2 per day, but sometimes I have more, even when I know I don't need them. It's not much at all, and the fact that I usually don't drink coffee during the weekend shows that I can live without it no problem, but I hate the fact that I need it so much to start to be productive, even after I bike to work. I will soon try to gradually phase it out using tea