this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
1234 points (99.0% liked)

Memes

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 year ago (14 children)

Correct, we discovered 249 kilos of drugs in our search.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 year ago (13 children)

Hey boss I just admitted 211 kilos of evidence, can you sign off on it?

[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Gotcha. 2... hundred.. kilos. There you go, signed.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This court finds you guilty of smuggling 150 kilos of drugs.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Recourse, only 100 kilograms were presented so the sentence must be lowered

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We found a dead bear in the evidence room. Seems the bear must have eaten all 100 kilos, so we're gonna close the case.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

This bear meat is the best meat i ever had. What's the seasoning ?

[–] pancakes 10 points 1 year ago

It's seasoned with coffee, which gives it that energizing and uplifting effect.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Bear salt, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We have sources that indicate the bear was yours. You’re sentenced to getting us 300kg of cocaine

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

wipes white powder from my nose...

"Excuse me..."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This chain is exactly why I joined Reddit and I'm so glad Lemmy got you guys.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I swear, I saw a video on this…

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Hey... I think you owe me 5 kilos of drugs!

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