this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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I suffer from this. It's been five years since I had a stroke, so it's fairly minor now. My problem has always been just not being able to get the word I want to say out, so I will sometimes talk around it until it comes to me-describing the word or phrase, or continuing a different tangent while I try to overcome the block, but I'm not even really paying attention to what I'm saying. I'm just stalling. Sometimes my loved ones will try to guess what I was going for, and it's helpful. Sometimes it's not. It depends on my mood, I suppose. If I'm upset and someone tries to guess and they're right, I feel like they're trying to shut me up. If they know I'm upset and guess I was going to say something I feel is worse than what I was really trying to get to, I am angry that they thought I would say that.
It's hard when I see my mother, too, because she has the same sort of issue but on a much larger scale and will say the completely wrong word or phrase with no hesitation, but I know what she means. Someone on the outside might think I'm invalidating everything she says, but when I hear "I married my brother" while she's looking at pictures and I know she means that her son got married in those pictures, I wait until she's said it a few times and say "Oh, your son got married? In these pictures here?" and she says yes, that's what she meant. I don't make a big deal out of the correction or make sure she repeats it, but I guess I feel like the other people at the nursing home should know she did not in fact marry her brother at any point. I know what it's like to know what you want to say but not be able to get it past your lips.