Autism

I just hope that i didn’t hurt your feelings with what i said, just because i was unaware of your strong feelings on this topic.

Not at all! Personally, I welcome other perspectives because they help me grow. I would hate to be in an environment where everyone agrees with me because then I would never learn anything new. You provided a very thorough analysis, and I appreciate it.

There is another desire here at play, and that appears to be the receiver’s need that their feelings be addressed in a comforting way. An apology will not really have that effect anyway; that rather works toward building awareness in the sender. I think what the receiver desires is being helped back on their feet rather than the sender being knocked to the ground for revenge. Therefore, this is asking not for a feel of guilt – but for compassion. 🙂

Yes! I think this is the point. Someone is hurt, and they are seeking consolation, whether that be an apology or some sort of compassionate support. However, I agree that a false apology would not only be inappropriate, but can also be hurtful since the person falsely apologizing might build resentment for doing something they do not want to appease another person’s feelings.

Additionally, taking your analysis and applying it to long-term situations, I think it’s important to be aware of relationships in which one has to often make a purposeful decision to choose whether or not to be offended. If this is happening frequently, then one should really assess why it is happening so much. As autistic people, we can become victims of emotional abuse because we either miss cues or gaslight ourselves as a result of the way were were raised (you’re too sensitive, you don’t understand people, etc.).