this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2023
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Bipolar Disorder

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So, after 9 1/2 hours of working In a kitchen I was on my way home. I took off my shoes and socks because my feet hurt.

I get on the tram. A few seats next to me a woman sat, loudly talking on the phone.

The call ends and she sees me, being Barefoot. She starts loudly berating me for my disgusting toe nails, and the dirt under my nails etc. At this point I notice that she seems off somehow. Other people start chiming in that my feet are fine and that she should mind her own business. This continues for another 5 minutes, I'm making snarky remarks. I honestly didn't care about her, just being tired after 13 hours awake. Some other things she said:

typical German thing, Turks and Arabs would never do that (she was of Turkish origin).

The hairs on my feet are disgusting.

Ithe other passenger start exiting the tram, it's just us two now basically. I put on my headphones completely ignoring her. She stands up and sits directly in front of me. I take off my headphones.

I ask her if she has bipolar disorder. She asks me if I doe. I say yes. She says she has it too. I say that she seems manic. She agrees. She nearly starts crying and apologizing . I say it's fine, because I realized early on and that I know she didn't mean to harrass me, I can relate.

We talk a bit about bipolar stuff. I tell her I just came from work and my feet hurt, that she's right I should cut my toe nails. She asks me what I work, I tell her I work in a kitchen In a refugee camp.

She starts crying and apologizing again. We exchange names and I have to get off the tram. Once outside I wondered wtf just happened.

That's my very weird random story I experienced on Saturday.

Have you ever randomly met other manic people? It

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks. I basically never get truly angry, unless someone clearly means to seriously harm me. If they can't harm me I also don't get truly angry. Only when they have the possibility. Or when I'm severely depressed and suicidal. I scream at random people that say or do something that's slightly mean. I truly regret those events, but when you can't stop thinking about suicide, any slight annoyance either makes me angry and lash out OR makes me feel even more miserable.

I hope you're doing good :)

[–] fartsparkles 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Totally hear you, controlling my own anger has been a long journey over the past 10 years but it’s truly liberated me from a negative feedback loop I absolutely did not need. I’m doing really good now, because of it (thank you for asking).

Keep being great and striving for greatness because, from your post, you really deserve it. Hope you’re doing good too!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm doing wonderful. Have been eithymic for 1.5 years thanks to lithium and Seroquel. Found the perfect medication for me after 3 years of rapid cycling, multiple psych ward stays and suicide attempts.

Lithium. Heaven.

I can finally work again. I found a job that I'm happy with. My life is worth living again.

[–] fartsparkles 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So thrilled to hear that and I’m so happy for you. Thank you for persevering and staying around; we’re lucky to have you. Keep spreading that empathy and understanding, and sharing your tales that help others understand and grow. ☮️