this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Autism

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Warning: Hot take: the longer I’m a parent, the more I feel that we shouldn’t be able to have children (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
39 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Some background:

I am a 35 year old male with a 2 year old son. I was diagnosed this year after a lifetime of struggling and becoming a parent exacerbating my traits.

Today I had an appointment with my son’s speech therapist, because he’s still not talking more than a couple words. The appointment is unstructured play and interaction including mimicking him, waiting for his cues, etc. The problem is, I can’t pick up on communication cues or read what to do next. I can’t communicate with him like a normal parent and I feel like I’m holding him back.

The therapist had to guide me as much as she had to guide him. This was my first time meeting her, and it was all overwhelming and overstimulating. I was fighting back tears half the time and I couldn’t keep and make eye contact as well as my 2 year old. 😭

I feel like my kid is going to be stunted because of my issues. I’m newly divorced and I’m doing my best so my wife doesn’t take him from because “I care for him, but can’t care for him.”

I struggle without routines and children are chaos. I am excluded by other parents because I’m weird or different, and they keep their kids away from us when playing at the park. I want him to be able to socialize and have friends and his autistic monster father gets in the way.

Everything is always so overwhelming and I struggle to not have panic attacks. How am I supposed to help when he gets to school? I have trouble with numbers and can’t do math😭😭

I just feel like giving up. I don’t know what to do

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not autistic (I only found the post via m/all) but I am a dad of a 1 year old.

Cue’s are tough to read. Every time I think I’m getting them, they seem to change. My daughter starts throwing fits at random and I’m just lost running around trying to figure out Whats wrong and if it’s something she needs or if it’s just her not getting what she wants.

I also find I get nasty looks from other parents when I go to the park if my wife isn’t with me. I got the cops called on my for kidnapping my own daughter on more than 1 occasion. Dad’s can’t be dad’s in public when it’s just them and their children. The status quo means you shouldn’t know how to parent and should be at home falling apart the second a diaper needs changed because you just don’t know what to do. Anything else and something is wrong and the police need involved.

I have family with autism. I have friends with autism. I am sure that makes is more difficult. I have no doubts there. But I think being a single dad is adding more to the troubles than you think it is.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I also find I get nasty looks from other parents when I go to the park if my wife isn’t with me. I got the cops called on my for kidnapping my own daughter on more than 1 occasion.

That is rough man, what is wrong with people. Can't even let a dad and daughter hang out in public 😔