There’s definitely some additional nuance (like a pronouns in bio/username situation) but this should cover the broad needs of anyone who is approaching this with good faith.
this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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What's your language, if it's okay to ask?
Why would it not be ok to ask? It's slovenian.
I think some people might consider it too personal/identifying?
Anyway, the Slovenian pronoun system sounds fascinating. Changing how you refer to people in so many different ways is pure nonsense, but it's also poetic, especially when synthesis is involved. I'll have to study it sometime.
The most poetic thing about the language is the dual form anyway.
It's a safe question to ask, if they don't like it they won't answer. A person's language is hardly ever identifying
I mean with Slovenian being a rather small one it can be quite identifing yet at the same time not.
People who live their entire lives on the internet have no idea how humans actually react to things in real life. They've been trained to assume that literally anything they do or say could be considered offensive to someone
The phrase is more of an indication of a lack of hostility on their part. Even something neutral like "what country is that" could come across as a bit confrontational, in English. It would almost be like asking the question with an assumption that you can't answer because it wasn't correct when clearly it is and they would just like to find out more.
Theres a fair amount of performative politeness you have to go through to take the edges off of English. It's not just fake-ness, as it can sometimes come across to non-native speakers. As I'm sure you know already, English is the a very information efficient amalgamation of 3 different languages. For example, some people find poetry and literature far more rich and descriptive in other languages. Due to it being particularly efficient at information exchange, it can also come across very blunt too.
Just thought you deserved a proper answer, with context, as you were kind enough to give one yourself.
I see. But I think this was a bit too polite. In my opinion the better way to take off the edge would be to ask and then add 'if you don't mind me asking' or If I may ask what country that is. Adding 'if it's okay to ask' seems almost like he asked me for my address or something that it's not okay to ask people about.
That's the same thing though.