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Mate, you’re deep in it right now. I also felt that it just was who I am. I was convinced that I was meant to feel bad; that the rut I was in was just my nature. But that isn’t what defines me anymore.
It feels like there is no hope and no one willing to help. But I bet deep down you know that it has to start with you. All of the drugs and therapies won’t help you until you wake up one day and decide to make a change.
Do one thing today. Whether that is shower, make your bed, or even just brush your teeth. Do something. That was the start for me. I had to force myself to shower and brush my teeth each day. For a while, that was my one thing I made myself do each day. Then I started doing three things, then four. I hated each step of the way, but eventually, I hated doing these things less.
You can do this. I don’t know you, but I know that you can. Your words eerily echo mine from the past.