this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2025
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I believe that for trans people, it's complicated with both the definition of sex and gender. But I don't think it's complicated for other people.
I think it's very bad to ask young children at the age of four what gender they want to be. All of this is creating so much insecurity and confusion it's not even funny anymore. I believe you when you say both gender and sex are really complicated, but I think that is not the case for non-trans people. It's nothing we think about even.
To me, it seems like everyone now is really confused and scared and don't know what gender is, or what sex is. I have lots of colleagues who are afraid to even talk about gender, because they don't want to be insensitive. And absolutely no joking about it. People are afraid.
I don't think that's how it should be in a society. I have nothing against trans but I really don't like this enormous fear, or the fact that children are forced to think about gender and sex when they should be children and just enjoy life.
Why are ordinary people afraid now to speak their minds about this? You can look at the downvotes these posts are getting to understand why. I tried understanding the other side of this, but I just get hate from the trans people every time.
As a non trans person, I also have struggled with understanding how it all works. It's hard to understand and sometimes fully empathize when you have no idea what the feelings and thought process even are for someone that's trans. I've since had lots of conversations and done a lot of learning to better understand it even if I can't personally relate.
There's more to sex and gender than genitals and being trans or not trans, and whether we think about it or not, I believe that we're all affected by it. I'm a straight man, yet I still struggle with it not because of my gender identity, but because of the cultural gender norms surrounding what being a "man" is. I don't fit nicely into those norms, and I don't really want to. People get criticized as being more of man or woman or less of a man or woman for lots of reasons because of these norms. I'm not saying you do, but it happens way too often.
Now add someone that beyond not feeling like they fit into these gender norms, they also feel they don't fit into the gender they feel they've been assigned. It's a lot to take in and the answers are tough for someone to even dare to accept for fear of the vitriol and hate that can come from family and other people.
You might not think of these things or that they aren't complicated, but you shouldn't assume that others don't either. And children aren't being asked what gender they want to be like it's a profession or something. It takes a lot to get anything going: conversations with parents, doctor's visits, and they can only get certain treatments depending on their age.
As for the hate people get for talking about these things, I get where you're coming from. But I think many people are talking about these issues and joining the conversation when they have little knowledge about everything that goes on, and instead of listening and educating themselves, they come in with preconceived believes about their personal understanding even though it doesn't relate. These are complicated issues.
Im also not a typical man personality... I tend to be more in touch with my emotions than most guys it seems. But that's fine, I easily manage to find my tribe of friends.
I think it's very confusing for kids to be asked what gender they are. We simplify a lot or other things for kids so they don't have to deal with complicated emotional issues at that age. But gender and sex, that they are supposed to think about? I don't think it's good, at all.
Why do you think people are asking these kids complicated questions about gender and sex? Who's asking? Teachers aren't asking. Their friends aren't asking. Maybe a very slim minority of parents?
And at the secondary level, the most they're gonna get asked is "what pronouns do you prefer?" and that just lets teachers respect kids choices.
Where are kids getting complicated questions about what gender they are? When is it ever more complicated than "are you a girl or a boy?"
Edit: I should clarify and say some kids use they/them and may identify as non binary, but, like, they just tell folks and go from there. It's not complicated.