this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2025
735 points (95.3% liked)

The Onion

4782 readers
728 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Don't worry, everyone. Trump will be in office soon, and everything will get fixed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

/s is mandatory, if you need evidence that your take is a commonly held belief then I give you 6,264,244 DNC voters who stayed home and 77,303,573 Trump voters who showed up.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Listen, randomfirstword+randomsecondword, you're gonna have to get a better script from your handler, because shit like this may have worked 6 years ago, but now it's just static.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

FiniteBanjo is my actual brandname. Site launches sometime this year.

WBY mr. randomadjective randomverb?

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Ahh, yes, totally verifiable and definitely not a sad sack in a troll farm, right comrade? Mine is from a Gorillaz song, "All Alone" off of Demon Days. Give it a listen, it's my favorite track on a completely stacked LP.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Well if you want the inspiration, then I had this shower thought that a guitar base kind of looks like an infinite symbol and from that you can derive the finite banjo.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Such a banging album.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Absolutely! He has the best plans. Just ask him what they are.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

The best concepts of plans.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

His plans are war, he says he will empower Israel even more and then as a result warring with Lebanon and Iran, possibly Egypt but maybe not, will spread.

He hasn't outright said the consequences of his actions but it doesn't take a genius to work it out.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He'll magically lower the prices of fire hoses and air tanker pilot training.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

more like he will jack up the prices and personally pocket the difference somehow

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Can't tell if it's sarcasm, or if you're super misguided....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just like the kids in The Goonies fixed the statue of David by gluing the dick back on upside down, so too shall Trump invert the American dingus in acts of corporate interest and capitalistic greed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

What a sentence

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

Liberal reveals fundamental incapability of understanding why every county in their entire nation shifted towards Trump

In other news, water is wet and libs support genocide