Bipolar Disorder

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Am I the asshole for disclosing early to my date that I have bipolar disorder? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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She told me I trauma dumped on her and I was looking to trauma bond. Which I think isn't true since I disclosed to other dates from the get-go I was bipolar because I am one of those who think it's better to tell someone right away then later when they get attached. Some people are just not okay dating with mental illnesses and that's okay. So I prefer to say it in advance.

She said she is disabled too and won't be capable of taking care of me all the time, I have taken it badly because as I said to her I am not looking for a mother. She told she's got "nurse syndrom" which is basically in the context of romantic relationships, is a psychological phenomenon where an individual, often a woman, feels a compulsive need to "save" or "fix" their partner. I told her I find that infantilizing I do not want a mother or someone trying to save me, yes I am disabled but yes I can also take care of myself like a grown-up, I am not 6 years old looking for guidance. I said to her I do not feel comfortable pursuing the relationship. AITA for thinking she's the one showing red flags?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Don't know the whole conversation, all the subtext/body language, bit from my experience, there's never anything wrong with disclosing your disorders. It's part of who you are and what makes you, well you. They was open with you about there thing which was good. Although how you both handled could of been better, again don't know the subtext, it's probably best to part ways.

Always remember you are valid and others disabilities are valid too. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. And sometimes certain disabilities can clash a lot. And that's ok. Just move on.

It's not disclosing your disability that would make you a asshole. It's how you dealt with it. From what I saw you was open and honest about it. Things clashed a bit. That's ok.