this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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My first GP phonecall to get an in-person appointment resulted in a tiny piece of paper with suicide/help hotlines, and an ADHD form.
I was worried about ADHD and Bipolar. I wasn't myself. At all. It got pretty bad.
After an in person appointment and me failing to fill in my form (edit: or not filling it in correctly, I guess?), a referral to a psychiatrist wasn't justified and I heard no more.
I eventually seeked private healthcare for this.
And proper private healthcare, not that fucking "better health" or whatever that YouTube ad is. From actual doctors from an actual clinic.
After a 1 hour consultation and £300, I felt listened to.
The psychiatrist identified both ADHD and Bipolar traits, but said they were not significant enough compared to the depression. Treat the depression first, then circle back to the other possible issues.
6 months on SNRIs, and I can't believe the difference.
I don't feel like I'm struggling with memory loss. The traits I thought could be ADHD (hyperfocus sessions and yet easily distracted - exclusively) became manageable. The every day tasks suddenly were accomplishable. I haven't tracked my mood very closely, but I'm either on a 2 month hypomania streak or this is actually just what I'm normally like and I can't remember what feeling normal actually is. So maybe any bipolar I do have isn't impacting my life so much.
It took 6 months between the GP disappointment and seeking private care for it.
It's the best fucking £300 I've ever spent.
The reason I got there, as opposed to accepting the GPs diagnosis, was a colleague talked about their experience. They talked about their depression, a failed visit to a GP, seeking a 2nd opinion, getting meds, and turning their life around.
They said "don't stop until you feel heard. Don't stop until you agree with the doctor".