this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
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My favorite, since I'm not a programmer anymore, is excel
E: Your formula has a circular reference. I ain't doing shit till you fix it
Me: where?
E: In your spreadsheet, I don't fucking know
Excel: taking ages to load a file
Excel: There is a link to another Excel document, but I can't access it to update the value.
Me: Where?
Excel: To this document.
Me: ... Where can I find the cell that contains this link?
Excel: I don't know noises
Me: What if it is a named variable?
Excel: Yes.
And don't even try to do a conversion of text to numbers in a big column. There's a super fast way (name is eluding me) but if you respond to the error popup I imagine it looks at each cell of text, thinks says, "abracadabra you're now a number!" for every row. It takes that long
It’s ok, you run the expression debugger, which says the first step, which is all of the formula, will result in an error. So helpful.