this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
719 points (97.5% liked)

Microblog Memes

5846 readers
2640 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You absolute strawberry plant

You absolute fishtank

You absolute houseplant

Yeah, this checks out

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Close!

This has been a Brit thing for a decade or so, particularly Scots and Northern English. The idea is to use a noun that could already be a slightly insulting word to start with, like 'potato' in the example

You absolute donkey

You absolute cabbage

You absolute bin-bag

You absolute Belgian

Etc etc

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

On a similar note, with an "absolutely" and a word ending in "ed", you get words which mean "very inebriated/stoned"

Common

  • absolutely battered
  • absolutely blathered
  • absolutely pissed
  • absolutely wankered
  • absolutely trolleyed
  • absolutely shitfaced
  • absolutely twatted

Less common

  • absolutely potatoed
  • absolutely cultured
  • absolutely traffic coned
  • absolutely fishcaked
  • absolutely Belgianed
  • absolutely bin-bagged
  • absolutely cabbaged
  • absolutely Tobleroned
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

"absolutely" in this context can be replaced by "pure" if you're a weegie

[–] MrsDoyle 1 points 1 month ago

"You absolute melt" is my favourite. Uttered by a GBBO baker about himself in the latest episode.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I think houseplant and fishtank kind of work in this context.