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By a bidet attachment for your toilet right now. It’s like $25 and you can install it in 30 minutes.
Wouldn’t you pay $25 to never have to wipe your ass again? Go do it.
Never did a bidet, but I avoid paper to ass like a plague.
I mean, if I'm not home, I do it and whatever.
But I normally just go to shower and that's it. Just clean it while showering.
When you are on a diarrhea and shitting multiple times a day, your ass starts getting irritated after so much paper. By simply cleaning it in the shower, you have no more irritation.
You just reinvented a bidet. It's like a shower, but just for your butt, and you use it right there on the toilet - it only takes a few seconds!
Kinda. Because your ass gets wet, you can't scrub it (which you do in the shower) and then you need to dry it with paper, causing what OP mentioned. Not for me.