this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
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[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (7 children)

Just back from dinner with the guy who organises the local Meetup dining group.
I'd dropped into the conversation when he invited me to a cafe that I wasn't looking for a relationship right now, just to lay it on the table, then after some messaging that was pushing the boundaries and some blatantly flirtatious behaviour in front of others I had to have a stern talk of the You're Making Me Uncomfortable Back Off variety.
So he walked me home, came in briefly to meet the cats and then I drove him home making it plain that I was just going to drop him home and run.
So what does he do? Ask me to stay the night!
Firstly NO, secondly I've never left the cats alone overnight and I'm not going to start now, thirdly I Told You I'm Not Interested Several Times Jesus Christ. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ I think he's more of a clueless scungie type - I know the breed from Uni God knows - but seriously, which part of I Am Not Interested does this guy not understand?

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Hun. Not after a relationship. Just a root. Urrrt no. Kick.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He understands, he just doesn't want to accept it. It's not about swaying you it's about making you so uncomfortable that you'll say yes just to get it "over with".

He doesn't care about your feelings or consent. And do not let him into your house again.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This.

It is such a good idea to have your own transport arranged to get home

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

No means yes or possibly yes to some people, no matter how clear you are.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No is yes because some men get off on non-consent as well. Ugh UGH

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

THIS.

be so careful

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

What is up with men who can't take a hint? Unfortunately not uncommon with some meetup groups :(

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

He thought you'd be swayed by his confidence.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yikes.

This guy was being wilfully oblivious, ignoring all boundaries and just trying to take advantage โ›ณ๏ธ

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe next time don't ask boundary challenged guys in to meet the cats

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ugh I have no idea why you are downvoted - I agree wholeheartedly with this.

Do not allow men into your home who have already ignored your consent. Not victim blaming, but people perceived as women must be careful in today's world what with the utter disrespect and violence towards AFABs/women/femmes.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

exactly, don't invite trouble in to your house