this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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Mental Health

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This is about programming specifically, but I guess you can experience similar things with many other activities as well. So if you can even remotely relate your thoughts are very welcome.

Alright so, every time when I sit down to programme it tends to start out great, I feel relaxed and kind of looking forward to it. However, at some point there is going to be a bug in the code or some library does not work as I expect it to. I then start googling; try something out; doesn't work; google some more; try more stuff; still doesn't work. While this is of course just what coding is like, during these "google, test, repeat" sessions I tend to go faster with every iteration and at some point I am in such a rush that it feels like I hardly remember to breathe. Needless to say that this is freaking exhausting. After an hour of this my brain is just mush.

Of course, the obvious solution to this is to just take a break as soon as I notice me speeding up. I will try to do this more, but sometimes it feels like I can't. This unsolved bug will sit in my mind so that I can't stop thinking about it even if I'm not at the keyboard. "It must be solved. Now". Of course it doesn't, but that's what my mind is telling me.

In a few months I will probably be working as a full time dev again and until then I have to have solved this problem somehow if I want to do this any longer than a couple of years.

Ideally I want programming to be a meditative experience and feel refreshed afterwards instead of completely drained. This might be illusionary, but at least I would want it to be draining more like I've been on a good run, instead of feeling like being hit by a truck.

Anyways I'm wondering if any of you can relate to this and maybe has solved this in some way. Does this ever happen to you? What do you do to prevent this from happening? I appreciate any thoughts you have on this.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not a programmer, but I do understand the basic principle you're discussing and have experienced it with other things.

First off, your mental endurance will grow stronger with exercise. It's important to make sure you're taking care of your biological necessities, it's extremely easy for me to forget to eat, for instance. But so long as you're giving yourself the calories, water and oxygen necessary, you should be able to strengthen your ability to operate in that crunch mode. The key here is to absolutely force yourself to handle those biological necessities. If you find yourself holding your breath, exercise your full willpower to make yourself stop, lean back, and resume breathing normally. Get some calories and fluids as necessary. This can eventually be made a habit, but you absolutely have to brute force that habit into being.

Second, when that exhaustion is beginning to look more likely, you have to similarly force a break. In my case it's important to physically remove myself from the stimulus, I can't just sit at the same desk. I have to get up and walk away. My brain will still churn on the problem for a bit, but it eventually slides it to more of a back burner position since it can only get so far without actually trying things out, and this "giving up" is exactly what I'm looking for. Once on that back burner, you can give some time to let your forebrain "cool off" a little bit. Going for a brisk walk would be a good way to go about this. Music could work. Some short videos could work. A quick chat with someone could work. Lots of possibilities. None of it will be pleasant until the brain gives up, though, and in my case that just requires enough time to pass that it runs out of ways to advance without me returning to my desk and testing something.

You may note, the key thread between the two is willpower. There is no way I know of around having to simply brute force the decision with my own conscious mind sometimes, because I won't want to stop. But I do other things I don't want to do too, so this is no different. Sub-brain will obey forebrain, I am not offering any choices or debate on the issue. We are standing up now and the feet are walking, the decision is final, now stfu. lol

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Sub-brain will obey forebrain, I am not offering any choices or debate on the issue. We are standing up now and the feet are walking, the decision is final, now stfu.

I like that. Never really thought of it as a willpower thing. But yeah I think you are right.