this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My mom was an accountant and told me this story.

A finance guy had sole control of a rather large account. At some point he's strapped for cash, and just needs a little to cover the next few weeks. So he pulls a little out of this account, writes down what he took and what he'll pay back, including interest. He's not trying to embezzle, he's just in a tight spot.

Well, it goes pretty well, he paid it back and no one noticed. A few years pass and he's in a tight spot again, no problem he'll borrow from the account and pay it back just like before. Except this time he can't cover it. But he manages to make a quick sale to bring some extra cash in to the account to conceal what he'd taken. This starts a pattern, he withdraws money, but because money is constantly moving in and out, no one really notices and he's able to continue stealing money from this fund. It's a few thousand initially, after a few years it's a few hundred thousand.

Suddenly he's in so far over his head there is absolutely no way he'll ever be able to pay it back. It's a matter of time before he gets caught and he figures that before he commits suicide, it would be best if he just came forward with it, perhaps some of the partners in his firm can help him out. This was an 11th hour revelation, as I understand this man realized he could just confess while standing on the bridge.

He explains what he did, why he did it, and gives an accurate accounting of how much he stole to his board. After a moment of shocked silence one board member stands up, and says "I know what you should do." And before the relief could finish washing over him at a solution, he continued "you should kill yourself."

Shortly after that meeting, the IRS is at his door with a handful of US Marshalls.

Line 8 kids, if you're stealing money and no one's noticing, it goes on Line 8. Break one law at a time.

[–] BlueMagma 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Crazy story, I enjoyed reading it even though the "poor" guy ended up killing himself. What's line 8 though ? I don't know what this means...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

He's still alive! Going seeing the country talking about what to look for when you suspect somebody is embezzling.

Line 8 is a line in American income taxes, it's used for "all other" forms of income, otherwise not reported. So if you stole 100,000 dollars, even though you obtained it illegally, you're expected to report it, or give committed another crime.

Generally that line is used for more niche sources of income. There are planet of legitimate reasons to use it.