this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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ADHD

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Struggling to set life into motion (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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I either have an exciting plan,
or when that fails, no plan (I resign).
Since the exciting plans usually fail, I end up living on autopilot.

I really struggle making things in life move. There's too many simultaneous Big Tasks* whose logistics I need to keep track of that I can’t hold them all in my head at once (I can only focus on one Big Task at once). Especially when most tasks are timelines where you need to wait for responses, compose emails, search for things (there might be none – what then?) etc. and where you need to think about the order of the tasks in the timeline so that you save time. Not to forget remembering to notice if people haven’t replied to your e-mail and having to either remind them or come up with a Plan B (this usually leaves you stumped because you now can't get the thing you started the whole journey for). There's so many steps to keep track of and you can't even write them down because the amount of steps keeps changing.

*Finding the next place to rent, booking a dentist for my hurting tooth, planning journeys (what is the Plan B if the journey is too expensive?)

The cluelessness and dread of having to come up with a Plan B is why I hate searching for things. Having to come up with a Plan B is so disorienting. And it's the opposite of stimulating: you've put in a ton of effort and gotten nowhere. How do you all deal with it?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I feel you. What helps me, is to organize before starting (as much as I dread organizing). Write down what needs to be done when, and make sure you have at least a reminder to kickstart plan B scheduled.

I extensively use to-do lists (love the Todoist app) and will put in tasks like (for a home improvement example)

  • mail at least 5 companies asking to do X (tomorrow)
  • in 2 weeks: make sure you have followed up with 1 of them, else read 2 tutorials and get tools to do X myself

For the boring (but non-waiting) tasks like making the schedule, reading or just doing boring stuff at work, I like to use pomodoro: Set a timer, try to do focused work for 25 minutes. When the timer goes off, you HAVE TO take a break and enjoy yourself for 5 minutes (set a timer again), whether you got any work done or not. Repeat. There's apps and sites that help make this smooth.

Usually the first pomodoro is wasted but in the second or third, I get so much work done, and feel better because of the mandatory breaks, that it is usually worth it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Also agreed the pomodoro technique has really helped me Get Things Done.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

How do you deal with unexpected Plan Bs? Like say, your traveling and looking for a place to stay but there are none, or you need some extra money but you can't find any suitable jobs? Or if nobody replies to your emails?

!...I guess what's really happening is my brain facing the reality of what it thinks should be possible vs. what is actually possible...!<

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

As much as is reasonable, try to expect them. Put a task in 2 weeks describing what to do if there have been no replies yet. Expand your range of options. Search farther, find a different kind of handiman companies to mail, find someone who can give feedback on your resume, or if necessary, consider different kinds of jobs.

I would not be a part of this community if this mind of planning always went well in my life. But in general, planning these kinds of things in advance so I don't have to:

  • notice them in the moment
  • make the plan in the moment

Helps me. Do the work now so you can simply follow reminders and instructions for plan B.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Ah, setting yourself a Plan B reminder is a great idea

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I guess Plan Bs just come down to thinking out of the box

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If you're worried, you can come up with a plan B now. It tends to be easier to think "what if ...?" before anything has happened and then write that in the reminder than to do this kind of thinking when you're in panic mode and find out that things aren't going well.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Hmm, that's a good suggestion.

Also, I've realised my Plan B problem can be generalized:

  1. I want something
  2. I search for the means
  3. There are no means.
  4. What now? I'm terrified of №3, it's giving me a mental block to search in the first place... (but yeah, your suggestion helps here)