I'd watch that movie. No forced battle royale, no video-game villain. Just a comedy that slowly goes completely off the rails for an escalating clusterfuck of fight sequences.

Avoid viewer fatigue by repeatedly looping back to the inciting incident and how it spread through different portions of the ship. You'd get the first go with the central cast and a knock-down, drag-out, slapstick fight between a handful of dudes, until their dramatic showdown in the middle of the ballroom is interrupted by a completely different mob of people getting chased through, and a straight-up swordfight on the balconies, and someone falling onto the dancefloor from god-knows-where. Rewind to where the main guys crossed paths with a different tour group and set off a misunderstanding that escalates into throwing food and then shoes and then cutlery. When that debacle plows into the ballroom, rewind again, and follow another short film about things getting wildly out of hand.

I'm picturing the Oldboy hallway scene, but with Zach Galifianakas wielding a pool noodle against fifty angry parents.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I need you to write the fucking script, my man.

And in addition to Galafinakis and a bunch of the other wild Hollywooders of the sort like Seth Rogen, James Franco, Margot Robbie, Michael Cera, esteemed character actress Margo Martindale, and Macaulay Culkin... get the Ballad of Buster Scruggs people in on it. Any of them that are interested.

[–] mindbleach 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The script barely matters - it'd live or die by choreography. Honestly you could buy several unrelated scripts in the same genre and extract the character stuff as setup. Their salient details become comedic excuses for the ebb and flow of combat. Like a good version of that MST3K quote: "It's movie-loaf. It's made from real movie."

Or better yet, with that kind of casting, ask each of them to contribute. They've all got stuff they're trying to get made. They've all got some leftover material that's not quite a full story. They won't necessarily get to play the parts they wrote, but they'll get co-writer credit, and it'll be onscreen, and they don't have to flesh out that scene idea that made them giggle themselves stupid at two in the morning.